My
job, that is. Although it has been over 2 years, since I quit my job but I
never really talked about it.
We
were a DINK couple. DINK is Double Income No Kids, to the uninitiated. We would
go to work on the week days, catch movies on TV at night (we even watched 25
movies in a month through BigFlix), go mall-hopping or window-shopping on
weekends, play games on PlayStation the whole night (my husband) or read the
whole day (me) or watch back-to-back FRIENDS (me) or catch back-to-back movies
in the theatre (us)…phew! Where was I?
But
one fine day I realised (since I am an introspecting kind); I was fast
approaching the dreaded figure of 30. I suddenly thought ‘what am I doing!’
After 20 years, will I look back and feel I had a great life or will I feel the
pangs of unfulfilled dreams?
I will
take a moment to give a background about my work. I have done Diploma in
Marketing. I was obsessed with getting into Advertising, and I have written in
detail here, here, and here, how I got the job I wanted, during my campus. But
my delusions about Advertising ended pretty soon. It may have something to do
with my then boyfriend, now husband, not being around in Mumbai, where I
worked. I knew no one in Mumbai and it got pretty lonely because I am not an
out-and-about girl. I hardly went out during those days. So, after about 15
months, I moved to Pune in a Marketing Communication profile. Though I knew
nothing about what to expect, I learnt a lot during my 4.5 years stint. It was
refreshing and exciting to be taken seriously and approached for Marketing
advice when you have so less experience. I learnt on the job and had a great
time, but it was not my calling. Writing is.
So,
somewhere around early 2010, we decided that I can put in my papers. We
streamlined our financial commitments, as we were going from double income to
single income. Friends still tell me how they would not have given up such
salary. But you know, money is not the most important thing in my life. In the
last 2 years, I have never, not even for a single second, regretted giving up
my job. My husband is a person like no other. He has been the most supportive
husband ever. There are not enough words to articulate his role in my life. And
I must also add that although I married him after knowing him for 4 years,
nobody can really predict how a person will eventually be as a husband. Once I
was unwell during my stint in Mumbai. I was all alone. He is the one who caught
a bus for Mumbai after office at night (when he was a fresher), waited for the
locals to start in the morning in Mumbai, reached my hostel at 5 am, picked me
up and brought me with him to Pune, and went back to office at 10 am (as a
Fresher he could not take leave). He is the one on whose shoulder I cried when
I did not do well in a subject. He is the one who waited for 3 hours (till 3
am) outside my creative agency, when I had to put a catalogue to print. He is the
one who held my hand when I went into labour. He is the one who complements me every
single day for the tea I make for him.
Oh,
but I digress, I would write more about him some day. So, I put in my papers
before Diwali holiday in 2010 (October). My boss was bewildered, slowly when
others came to know, they either thought I was pregnant or I was joining
another company. Neither was true. My boss reasoned out with me that taking a
break looks attractive before you do it but when you actually end up not doing
anything, you end up in frustration. He was kind enough to even consider giving
me a break for a couple of months. But I told him the truth. I did not know if
I would want to join back after the break. My mind was somewhere else and I did
not want to keep the company in limbo. So, he accepted my resignation. He
expressed his surprise couple of months back that I am still jobless and still
very content in my role.
I had
certain things to achieve ‘before I turned 30’. Being a mother was one of them.
We discovered that I was pregnant during our Anniversary in early December
2010. I went on to complete my notice period till 31st December
2010.
The
earlier plan was to quit, and discover Pune. Just walk around, go to all the
bookstores, quaint little places for food and clothes, and just do what an
office-going person seldom does, while away my time. For some time. But I had
severe nausea from the beginning of my pregnancy, which continued almost
throughout the 9 months. I was thankful that I did not have to rush to office,
figure out my diet and take rest. I took care of myself (of course with
complete support of my husband, who cooked for me many times) for the entire 9
months. My in-laws came in the 9th month.
Naturally,
my focus had shifted. I hardly read or thought about writing during those
months. I just focused on my pregnancy. After delivery, my life had been on a
whirlwind (as all new parents would know). In only last couple of months, I
have started writing in a disciplined way, and reading with a lot of focus.
This year I am going to read the highest number of books I have ever read in
any year. Because when my son would start playschool (most probably, in
December 2013), I would start actively seeking writing opportunities. Right
now, I am taking in whatever is coming on its own. I hardly get much time. I
get on an average 3 hours of reading and writing daily. That too because I don’t
do anything else. I don’t socialise. I don’t gossip on phone. I don’t watch TV.
I think it's a really tough decision to make. Good to hear that your husband was very supportive about it.
ReplyDeleteYes, I am discovering every day how fortunate I am to have a supportive husband. What if he had said 'I don't think we can go from double income to single income?'Or 'why shouldn't I chase my own passions?' But to come to think of it, it is the person he is which attracted me to him in the first place.
DeleteBesides, I offered him to switch places if he wants. I can go back to work and he can stay home for as long as he likes. But he said he likes it better this way. He says he trusts I am doing a good job in being the primary caregiver of our son. And he will go crazy if he would not go to work! A break is another thing, not going back to office is something else altogether.
Thank you so much for dropping by :-)
You touched my heart deeply.....
ReplyDeleteLove you gal, May God bless you with more time to write.....
I am touched that you took time to write that down here :-)
DeleteYou motivate me to chase my dreams of writing...need to talk to you on how to pursue professional writing.
ReplyDeleteSome decisions look tough when we are thinking about them but once we take the decision it feels that it was the easiest way to handle the thing, hai na?
Loved reading this post!
That's such a sweet thing to say. I am touched by your kindness. You inspire me so much for being able to accomplish so many things. I am sure you are a Super Woman!
DeleteWhat advice can I really offer you on professional writing! (Although of course you are welcome to call me anytime). I have just started taking baby steps. I have huge dearth of time so I am not able to commit myself to pursuing it whole hog.
Reema, Hopped in to your blog through blog-hopping and am enjoying your writing and all your posts..and I too have a resolution of 52 posts this year (though it is only on the paper/blog for now..)..I'm inspired by people who make up their mind and decide to quit..
ReplyDeleteHey Ramya, thank you so much for your kind words. My resolution for this blog is not going too well but my intention is to be regular. I too hopped on to your blog and we share the same template :-)
DeleteI will visit again soon to read more.
Hi Dear.. Totally loved the blog post.. Superb.. Love the way, you live your life.. May god bless your family and shower his mercy on you.. Cheers.. take care.. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteHi Reema, reading your posts regularly on parentous & landed on your blog from there. Great post & a great loving husband :)
ReplyDeleteCould identify more with your post as i am also in such stage, the diff my company will shut down after three months, but I am not sure like you whether i want to discontinue working :)
The most important thing is to have a passion in life which you have, Keep writing :)
I am touched by your comment, thank you for coming in here. Sometimes life gives you challenges which may turn out to be opportunities. May be this would be an opportunity to explore something else. It is perfectly alright if you don't want to stay at home but you must be at peace with yourself. That's what matters :-)
Delete