What makes you Happy!

Yesterday we had a long chat on what we want to do in life. I am happy with the way my life has turned out. I’m happy with everything about it. Broadly. But what next? I can’t be just passing each day, without thinking about where I’m going? I am like that I need to have a feel about what next?

He, on the contrary, is not looking for any unknown territory. He’s happy with life’s little, unplanned, unexpected joys—a funfilled evening, an unexpected sale, some good time with friends; it could be anything. I think that’s good too!

He made me think what would make me really happy. Honestly, seeing my name in print, as in getting an article or may be a Book published, would be my ultimate dream for now. I have always had this dream. I remember when I was in Class 8th or 9th, I had sent a letter to a youth magazine called SUN (as “letter to the editor”) and it was published as the Best Letter. It was the most momentous occasion for me till that point of my life! Then when I moved to Chennai and Bangalore for few months, I used to write a lot and had my letter published in The Hindu, The Times of India, The Indian Express, India Today, Outlook and more recently Femina. All my letters have got published, which I have ever sent. So, after seeing so many of my Letters in print, now it does not give me a high any more. Now I’m looking for something more—my own article published. But what do I write about? I don’t have a story to tell. I like giving perspective to events or things. That’s what I do here.

I have applied for Diploma in Creative Writing from IGNOU. I’m yet to receive my Acknowledgement Card. I would really like to explore this avenue and know more about writing. I have been reading novels since I was in Class 6, but now when I read, I keenly observe the writer’s style of narration and writing.

Just yesterday we were discussing about our favourite subject in our entire education. There was this course in the last Trimester of my MBA called “Individual and Indian Society”. If I have ever enjoyed any subject thoroughly, this was it! Most of the time we had to watch documentaries and write our opinion on those; or interview a slum-dweller or read a book and review it. That’s so my kind of subject. Really!

So, the underlying point is what I’m looking for right now in my life is an opportunity to write—either to find one or create it!

If we are so much in Love, then why aren't we Happy?

Although right now I’m completely off books, the last book which I was reading was “If we are so much in Love, Why aren’t we Happy?”. The first thing you would think, or everybody would think when they find me reading this book is -- am I not happy? I am Happy, very Happy. I have every reason to be happy, but when sometimes silly things lead to heated arguments, when stupid questions lead to bigger questions, when something unwarranted slips out of your mind and you regret never to have said that, when you say so many things without thinking; you realize are we giving too much importance to smaller and unimportant things?

I picked up this book because I genuinely wanted to know, where are we wrong? Why we end up arguing without wanting to do so? I have read a couple of pages and one thing which has come out very strongly is, we are wrong when we start expecting others to change. The first thing which we should accept is nobody and nothing is going to change, if we are looking at change, we should step towards changing ourselves. It also says that loving somebody should be spiritual and not transactional. When we say – “I love you”, it actually means I love you irrespective of what you do, but what we actually end up doing is that “I love you and you should also love me”. The book tells you to let the other person be himself and do what he/she wants to do. It tells you to take this experiment and not try to change the other person but bring that change in yourself. Do not love other person expecting that he should do what you like him to do. Yeah, it is very easy in theory and equally difficult in practice, because we are so used to it.

Even before reading this book, I used to think why we start imposing “Dos” and “Don’ts” to other people? Letting other people be themselves is the greatest form of love. Do you understand what you are giving him by doing that? You are giving him the freedom to enjoy life as he wants to. And why not? Love should be liberating!

The book says it is difficult to do that in the beginning but once you get used to it, it gives an unmatched joy to you as well. The fact that you are a source of unconditional love to somebody is in itself very blissful and beautiful.

It is not our fault. The problem is we have always been conditioned to consider everything as transactional, and we have never known any other way. Look at us, even when we pray we silently tell God, please give me a job and I’ll give you 100 coconuts! And we assume this is the right way! It is just one way; there could be other ways as well. Needless to say, we are transactional in all our relationships.

The book also says that it is not necessary that both people needs to do certain things to make a relationship work. This experiment requires only one person to start loving the other person spiritually. If both people are doing that, it is an ideal situation but even one person can bring a lot of change in a relationship.

I would love to try that and I think it would be the greatest gift to anybody that one can give, that you love him unconditionally.

Introspective wanderings

I am a writer at heart at least that is what I like to believe. I like to believe that before you become a good writer, you need to become a voracious reader.
How many times it has happened to you that you have read a book and marveled at the knowledge of the writer? How many times you have read a novel and it has touched you deep inside and left you wondering how it is possible to define an emotion so beautifully? And how many times you have been filled with awe by the sheer genius of an author in describing a moment? Well, since I am an aspiring writer, these days I also look at what is the style of a narration and how has the story been told. In fact, I also know what kind of books I want to write. I have found a writer of my own taste. I have devoured four of her books and only two other are yet to be read. I am just dying to lay my hands on them. The stories are engrossing and deliciously funny. There are at least hundred instances when you empathise with the character, frankly speaking, most of the girls would feel one with the character. Well, all of us are born Shopaholics, aren’t we! Well, if you have ever read any of the books in Shopaholic series by Sophie Kinsella, you would know what I am talking about. I love her style and would like to write like her. Of course, I would like to be known for my own style but you know it always help to define your objective.

Today I was into my one of those introspective modes. I was thanking God for a decent Appraisal, and then suddenly I realized that there are actually so many things which I should be thankful about. Look around and you would find most of the people unhappy about one thing or the other. Some of them have been unfortunate in marriage. Some have been unlucky in their careers. Some are cribbing about the tons of responsibilities thrown on them at a young age. Some have lost the purpose of living. And of course, there are millions of people suffering in poverty and destitute. When you look at all these, you suddenly realize what a blessing your own life is! And here, you were cribbing about how much more your salary should have been, how much better life partner you could have chosen, how your friends are settled in U.S and how better others’ lives are! Frankly, there is no end to it. You would always find something to cry about. Nobody is supposed to be perfect; nobody is supposed to have a flawless life. I strongly believe all of us have our share of happiness and sorrows. You cannot just compare your house with the Bungalow your friend has, because you never know he must be struggling to make his two ends meet after paying loads of EMIs for that lovely bungalow. So why not be thankful about all the good things in life. Come on, all of us have something to be happy about. So keep smiling and feel blessed.