When The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  ―  Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

Though I am yet to read this bestseller, but I have often come across this quote. And I am sure you must have too [especially if you are on any kind of social media]. This quote comes back to me every now and then when I realize how fast my son is growing up.

It wasn’t too long ago, he wasn’t even there in our lives, and look now, our whole lives revolve around this person. It is hard to believe sometimes that the star of our lives, little D, is already 2!

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Social Media and Parenting woes

Facebook Parenting is destroying our child's privacy - I read this article few days back, and it almost echoes my own concerns about rampant use of social media in general, and Facebook in particular, for sharing personal information. I have written about it in my post titled 'How Much Should We Share' earlier. 

I wouldn't say I haven't done it myself before. In the beginning I was extremely cautious of what I share on internet but later on, after I got used to the social media platforms and more importantly, when I saw others sharing their personal photographs and details, I considered it OK too. 

But being a parent is a different ball game altogether. You start looking at things differently. You start questioning your every move, about its implications on your child. 

Image courtesy: digitaltrends.com

When I see so many mommy bloggers around, sharing such beautiful moments with pictures on their blogs; I feel like doing it too. But I resist. I have a physical diary, to similar effect. When I discussed with my husband, if I should write a mommy blog too; he convinced me that a physical diary in my own handwriting will be much more precious for my child to have later on. 

Here are a few reasons why I don't support putting up excessive information or photographs of our children on the internet [or any platforms for that matter]:

• I don't want to put my child's life out there in public domain. Sharing embarrassing situations are definitely a no-no, but I am much more cautious beyond that, in the amount of information I am posting on the internet. Because as the article also says, once you have put some information online, it stays forever. It is not so simple as deleting a post. If you need a proof, go and Google your images. You will find a lot images which you have deleted from your profiles.
• I don't know how my child is going to turn out. He may become an introvert. In that case, will he like me sharing every piece of his life to public? I want to protect that right of my child to decide what kind of information he wants to share with the public. Who am I to decide?
• And most importantly, what I find most disturbing is: "Children grow up learning that posting pictures of one's self and sharing personal information is typical. We've created a sense of normality about a world where what's private is public. The sense of being entitled to privacy has been devalued." [text in inverted commas quoted from the article]

Having said that, I am not going to keep my child away from internet. In fact, I plan to introduce him to blogging as soon as possible. If used wisely, it is an excellent medium to express without being judged. What more can a child ask for!

5 Tips for Raising Book lovers [UBC Post 27]

Every book lover dreams of having a book lover in his or her child too. Though many kids take to reading themselves but there are certain things which you can do to pave the way for your child into the world of reading.

Here are a few tips to raising book lovers:

1. Start Early. Make it a way of daily life.

Image courtesy: readtome.ca

The best time to introduce reading to your child is now. Yes. The sooner the better. Even one month old baby benefits when they are read to. At that age, you can read just about anything to him. I remember I used to read aloud whatever books I would be reading at that time. Once it was 'Stay Hungry Stay Foolish' ha ha! Jokes apart, make reading to or with your child part of your daily routine. The formative years are the time to instill habits in kids. Make the best of it. We usually read during afternoons since my son used to be quite hyper just before sleeping. We had to switch off the lights for him to sleep. But recently, I started reading before bedtime and he just wouldn't let us drop that even when we are tired or late. He will get the bunch of books. Sometimes it is too funny!

2. Surround him with good books. 
Today there is an extensive range of books for each age-group. With imported books available at online stores and with several Indian publishers [like Duckbill Books, Tulika Publishers, Tara Books, Karadi Tales] creating books for Indian kids, it is a wonderful time to be a young reader. Take time to research and find books that are appealing and according to the child's age. I had shared a list of Fiction books which I have been reading to my son [ he just turned 2]. I will suggest you must read the book yourself first before passing it on to your kids. Not all books available for children in the market are good in quality and content or preaching the values you would like to inculcate in your child. I had shared my bad experience with a few kiddie books here. 

Image courtesy: Pinterest

3. Provide enough opportunities for reading. 
If you have good books but your TV is blaring all the time, chances are your child wouldn't be drawn to opening the book. TV is a visual medium - bright, attractive, dynamic. Compare it with a book. But of course, TV will dumb you down, books will make you imaginative. And I am sure, that is what you want for your kids. So, fix a time for TV [not more than 40-45 minutes for young kids]. 
If possible, create a reading corner for your child. See the picture. Even I would like to spend hours here. This place looks cozy and welcoming. We have a playing area in a corner of my living room. This place is for Dining Table but I have decided to wait for a while before I invite more trouble for myself. He will stand on top of the table or jump around the chairs. This place is just across the kitchen, so if I am doing something, I can keep an eye on him. I wanted to create a reading corner in another room with an open bookcase but at the last moment we felt he would start climbing up the shelves. So, we have dropped the idea for the moment. But I am going to get it may be in another year. 

4. Set an Example. Read yourself.
 Like in everything else, the child is going to copy you. If you are a voracious reader yourself, read all the time, love your books, care for your books; then chances are it is going to rub off on your child too. So, do what you preach. 

Image courtesy: examiner.com

5. Join a library. Visit bookstores together. 
A library will provide you a wide range of books. There are different kinds of libraries these days. There are also the ones in which you can order online and get the books delivered at your doorstep. And there are good old libraries where you visit the library, spend time, select books and issue them. I would suggest prefer those libraries. A library is a place where you will find other readers. It is inspiring to find other young readers. 
Along with library, also visit bookstores together when you go to buy books. When the kids are a little older, allow them to choose some of the books [with your approval of course]. 
Moreover, there are storytelling sessions for young kids these days, like the ones Falak takes. It helps to generate interest in kids through interesting storytelling techniques and related activities.

So, have you got any tip for me? 

Value of Money [UBC post 12]

This post was first published on Parentous.

Since our 7-year old nephew was visiting, who is extremely fond of video games like many kids his age, we decided to take him to a nearby mall on one of the weekends. It has a gaming zone. He enjoyed quite a lot there.

The next day I overheard this conversation between him and his grandmother, my mother-in-law (MIL).

Nephew: I really had a good time yesterday.

MIL: Really? Do you know how much it cost?

Nephew: How much?

MIL: 500 rupees!

Nephew: That’s it?

MIL: So what do you think, you should have spent 1000 rupees?

This is a very regular conversation. But it got me thinking. Is it that in our enthusiasm to provide everything to our kids, we are forgetting to instill the value of money in them?

Do you remember how buying clothes used to be an annual or bi-annual indulgence ‘in our times’? Consider now. We buy clothes whenever we feel like, even when we have not thought of buying, we sometimes buy if we like something. Same goes for toys and books and everything else. And kiddie stuff is expensive these days. We buy it because we want to give the best to our kids. So, there are cupboards full of clothes, there are toys to fill an entire room and all sorts of books, and what not!

There has to be a middle path in which we do not go overboard while also provide our kids with the best in everything. Well, it is not that I have discovered the perfect way to accomplish that but there are few things which I have or would like to implement in teaching value of money to my son (almost 2 year old now):

• When we go shopping, we must have a list; and we must stick to it. Most of the time when we go to malls, we invariably end up buying something or the other. We have to resist that. Personally, with a toddler, these days we don’t loiter around. We discuss where all will we be going and go to only those stores. But yes, when we go to supermarkets, though we always have the list, I seem to remember a lot of things which are not in the list. I am the guilty one usually. But I am learning. 
• Most importantly, we have to be conscious about what we say about money (which is actually applicable for everything not just money) in front of the kids. Are we saying a 200-300 rupees toy is cheap? Are we buying block sets which cost few thousands, on a whim? Are we exhibiting similar trend in our own things - changing mobile phones frequently, buying expensive gadgets too often, ordering food from

  

  Image courtesy: ussparenting.com

  outside every other day?
• We must also explain when we buy expensive stuff why we are buying it and that we think it is expensive. In fact, we must explain how money ‘works’ to our kids at the earliest.         
• We should encourage the good-old habit of recycling and reusing. My son, in his enthusiasm, had torn apart quite a few of his board books. The first thought that came to my mind was buying him new ones, but I discarded the idea promptly realizing what lesson he would learn from this. So, I asked my husband to repair all of them, and my son continues to ‘read’ from them.  
• Be judicious in shopping for clothes. I have not shopped for his clothes at malls except for his first birthday. That too was on discount. The thing is if you visit a branded store, all clothes look so cute, one ends up buying more than necessary. So, we visit small, nearby stores for his cloth requirements. And I never buy too many because they outgrow very fast.
• I think we should take our kids to parks / museums / zoos more than Malls. First of all, it protects them from getting sucked into the mall culture (eating-shopping-playing) and offers more learning opportunities. 
•  My only problem area is books. I am passionate about books and buy a lot of them. I had decided to join a library and inculcate this habit in my son too.

Well, that’s the plan so far! Any suggestions?

I am discovering, with every passing day, that parenthood is a huge learning experience. Even my parents could not teach me things which I am learning because of my child J

June Photo A Day : Day 23: Last

I think I cracked a good one for this. Didn't I :-)

If you have kids of your own or at home or observed them, you would know, they like to play more with the everyday items over their toys. Toys are the least preferred playthings. So, when we think of buying some new stuff for our son, we don't go to the toy store, we head to the supermarket or plastic variety stores or novelty store and the likes. 

Paper cups are very easily available and quite fun to play with. Earlier, I used to make tower and he would love bumping it off. Now both of us make it together or he would do on his own. It is great for their motor skills because they need to control their movements in putting the cups properly. 

In the picture, is the last cup remaining to complete the tower.

Just 'kid'ding!

Yesterday, my hubby was partying, so I grabbed the opportunity to chat with one of my closest friends. Don’t take me wrongly, we do have great time together, but I don’t get time normally for other things like reading or just whiling my time away. So, coming back to my friend, well, she is going through a very difficult time. Her beau’s parents are just not agreeing for their marriage, and in India, single status after a certain age, do raise eyebrows (especially for a girl). And let’s face it; the good ones are already taken by then! I could not tell her anything. I had no answer.

 

Sometimes I think about kids. How their life is totally in your hands; I always fear what if I did not know what to do in a particular situation. For a kid, parents are know-all, be-all. What would a parent do when the entire world is running after better scores and so-called “all-round personalities”! How do you decide what is good for your child? The other day, some of my friends, who have kids, were discussing about schools, etc. One said, “I want to put my daughter into gurukul kind of school. She should be away from such harrowing anxieties of competing and winning everything.” But then I remembered, something which another friend had said on a different occasion – “When you put your child in gurukul kind of school, away from all the competition, how will you prepare her for the eventuality. In this world, can you really stay away from it for long! Sooner or later, she will have to come to mainstream and then how will you prepare her to take this in her stride? By then she would not have known competition, wouldn’t she feel totally out of place and disconnected with all these? Besides, don’t you think she deserves similar opportunities like all her peers, and you would be denying her those if you totally cut her off from the mainstream?”

 

Whoa…….some words of wisdom! Well, I do agree it is a tough world.

 

It is funny how whenever my hubby misspells anything (he is a disaster in spellings but still wins scrabble), I tell him, our kid definitely would not be learning spellings and language from you! And he says, whatever, I just want my kid to be independent, and not look towards us for every decision she needs to take. Isn’t that what each one of us wants, but it must be so difficult to let go (especially for a control freak like me!).