Judging other women

Most of us are inclined to be judgemental all the time. And that includes me.

We would often ‘judge’ the actresses who had chosen to marry already-married actors / producers / directors (read Hema Malini, Sridevi). Long time back when I read about Sridevi and Boney Kapoor’s marriage, and a slew of gossip articles over the years on how Sridevi distanced Boney Kapoor from his children from first marriage; I always felt it was wrong of her to marry a married man in the first place and then create a rift between him and his children.

Recently, the PEOPLE magazine featured Sridevi on its cover page with her daughters. In the Cover story, I came to know that actually it was Boney Kapoor who pursued Sridevi relentlessly for 15 years before she agreed to marry him. Suddenly, my perception of her changed completely. And most importantly, I was ashamed of being so quick to judge someone I knew nothing about and that too a fellow-woman.

That is the problem with women. And that includes me too. We often place the blame on other women, are far too quick to judge them.

As mothers, we judge the choices of other mothers. If someone chooses to bottle-feed, we think the mother is not putting enough effort. If someone chooses to get back to work fast, we judge her for being so focused on her career. If someone chooses to be home, we feel it is not really the need but laziness.

As working women, we criticize other working women. If someone sticks to the office working hours, we feel they are just looking at the clock all the time and not serious about their work. If somebody goes beyond the working hours, we feel the woman is too ambitious.

And certainly this does not end here. There is always power tussle between a mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law, women co-workers and so on and so forth. If we started sticking to each other and standing up for each other, so many of our problems will be solved. Isn’t it? 

May this year we stand up for each other!