June Photo A Day : Day 2: A Moment

These Photo Challenges have made me break my own rules, of not sharing personal pictures. I have tried to be inconspicuous though, as much as possible. 

When I read today's prompt, this picture came to my mind. This picture, which was taken few days after my son's birth, embodies a moment - one of the most beautiful moments of life, when it has not yet sunk in that a bundle of joy is really in your life, when you just want to look at him over and over again to let that feeling sink in well, when you just don't know what to do but smile at the miracle of life and feel blessed.

This is a precious moment of my life.

When the Going Gets Tough for New Mothers

This post was first published on Mom and Me - one stop shop for Moms and kids.

It was naïve of me, before and during pregnancy, to think what work really could be with a tiny tot. Everyone kept saying ‘once the baby arrives, you would be very busy’. I would be bewildered, trying to imagine changing nappies and feeding really should not be that much work. As I said, I was naïve!

Perhaps only a mother understands the fact truly well that motherhood can be overwhelming. I have been on my own, with some help from dear husband in the evenings and the weekends, since the time my baby completed 2 months. Right from giving him massage three times a day, giving him bath (very difficult initially) to feeding him every 2 hours, from walking him around to sleep to changing nappies, with the fact that my body had gone through the process of child birth not too long ago; overwhelming seemed an understatement.

At every stage you feel, may be it would be better when he grows up a little more, but really the challenges and the work increases. As my friend pointed out, “pregnancy was really like being in Kindergarten” when compared to what lies ahead. Challenges are galore but there is not another vocation which is as blissful and as important.

Here are few things to deal with those tough times:

This too shall pass: Colic, waking up every 2 hours during night, baby’s sleep problems, breastfeeding issues, your own sleep deprivation and worse, if somebody falls ill in the family; such times can be frustrating and full of anxiety. Always keep this in mind that no matter what the issue is at that moment, it will be sorted sooner or later. So keep your patience.

Babies grow up very fast: When problems such as the ones discussed above make you miserable, remember that babies grow up very fast. These problems look huge at that moment but later on you would regret if you did not handle it properly. You will regret losing your cool, because babies will soon grow up and you would only have memories of those times. So why not make them good!

Take whatever help is at hand without feeling guilty: Accept help from whichever quarter it is coming, husband, family, parents, in-laws, domestic help, etc. You will not be able to do everything yourself. It is harsh to expect so much from yourself. Decide what you must do, and delegate others. I knew, I wanted to handle all baby related work myself, so I hired a cook for cooking our meals. I can therefore focus on my child and with cooking work out of my way, I have the patience and energy to be on my toes with my baby.

One day at a time: Live in the moment and do not worry about the future. You can deal with one single day no matter how tough it is; can’t you? So just deal with one day at a time, and always think every mother goes through these things, and comes out wiser. Enjoy the experience.

Read the book ‘What Mothers Do: Especially When it LooksLike Nothing’ by Naomi Stadlen: As a new mother, did it happen to you too that when somebody asked what do you do the whole day, you would say nothing really? This book made me realize as a mother how much we really do as mothers. No matter what we are doing, we drop off and run towards our baby when we hear him crying. We forget about deep slumber and outing with friends. Right from bathing, giving massages, feeding at least 8-12 times during the day (which can be back breaking), changing nappies, taking for strolls and putting to sleep are just few basic things we do, apart from thinking about their well being and how to be a better mother all the time. If you can, do read the book. It will make you feel good about what you do!

Having said that, I must concede that motherhood is a tough job but it has the best incentives in the world. The joy of seeing your baby’s face light up on looking at you is unparalleled. The bond which you share with your baby is always the most special and pure.

Despite all the challenges a mother faces every single day, she would not like to have it any other way.

Taare Zameen Par - an experience beyond words

“Taare Zameen Par” was an interesting experience. I don’t know if I can review it impartially because I’m a big Aamir Khan fan. I mean I appreciate his dedication and commitment to film-making, as an actor and as a director. Now it has become cool to like Aamir Khan and his movies but I have always liked him. I loved his Dil Hai ke Manta Nahi, Akele Hum Akele Tum, Mann, Rangeela, Lagaan, Dil Chahta Hai, Hum Hain Rahi Pyaar Ke and of course Taare Zameen Par. But yeah, I hated Mela, Parampara, Fanaa, Mangal Pandey and a few others. There would be a handful of movies which I haven’t seen yet!

Even if you are not an Aamir fan, although chances are miniscule, you still can’t ignore the fact that his directorial venture is a very brave effort on his part. Had it been any other person, a movie about a dyslexic child, would have gone to the so-called “off-beat” or “multiplex” genre. But here it is, and taking everyone, even an out-and-out commercial flick like Welcome by surprise. Come on, you gotta give it to Aamir!

All of us had our special moments in the movie when we got emotional and nostalgic—sometimes we cried for the child and sometime for ourselves. When I look at kids around, I genuinely feel sorry for them. When we were kids, there was only school, home works and hours of outdoor games, fun and playing. But now, there is school, tuitions, tennis practice, dance & music classes, voluntary work for the under-privileged, athletics and obviously the home works. If there is any tiny-winy time for games, it’s only computer games or play station or net-surfing (yeah, it is the most loved sports of this century). In fact, parents start buying books for their kids even before they have celebrated their first birthday, so that their child does not lag behind in the competition. As if all your life, right from the time you are born, is devoted to make a perfect CV. I feel so scared sometimes, what is going to happen to our own kids, who are yet to born? What kind of world are we giving to them! Why such mindless competition! It is really very scary. And it’s not even parents’ fault, look at our education system. Sometimes I feel, if I could give a free and liberating atmosphere to my child, then that would be the biggest gift which one can ever give.

Talking about parenthood, I strongly believe that we take parenthood very lightly in India. Children are born just like that, without asking yourself whether you are ready for it, whether you are ready to nurture a life from the scratch! Why do we never ask such questions in life?

It is truly surprising that in a country which boasts of World’s second largest population, we are yet to learn to nourish one life which we get in our hands. I think, you should choose to be a parent, because you are ready for it and you want to be one; and not for any other reason. The interpretation of “Taare Zameen Par” is actually your own terrain; you translate it in your life, in your own special way; which depends on your own upbringing, your values and your understanding of issues.

Talking about myself, the song “Maa” was my most emotional moment in the movie. It was too endearing and sensitive. I salute Aamir for making such a wonderful movie, and for making a difference.

Lyrics of "Maa" from Taare Zameen Par

Main Kabhi Batlata NahinPar
Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main
MaaTujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata..Meri Maa

Bheed Mein Yun Na Chodo Mujhe
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Bhej Na Itna Door Mujkko Tu
Yaad Bhi Tujhko Aa Naa Paoon Maa
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa
Kya Itna Bura Meri Maaaaaa

Jab Bhi Kabhi Papa Mujhe
Jo Zor Se Jhoola Jhulate Hain Maa
Meri Nazar Dhoondhe Tujhe
Sochu Yahi Tu Aa Ke Thaamegi Maa

Unse Main Yeh Kehta NahinPar
Main Seham Jaata Hoon Maa
Chehre Pe Aana Deta Nahin
Dil Hi Dil Mein Ghabraata Hoon Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Hai Naa Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata Meri Maa

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Par Andhere Se Darta Hoon Main Maa
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Teri Parwaah Karta Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata, Hain Na Maa
Tujhe Sab Hain Pata,,Meri Maa