Express Yourself!

I love reading (my huge collection of books is a proof of that); I love writing, blogging, watching movies, watching FRIENDS, skimming magazines and just taking in the beauty of tall mountains in some picturesque locale. But I realized, only a couple of days ago, that there is something which I love even more than everything else, something which can make me stay awake for nights, which can make me forget hunger and which can completely engage me for hours and hours. It is making collages.

I remember, when I was a kid, I would diligently cut the glossy newspapers and magazines for the pictures of my heart-throbs or things which motivate me or excite me. The wall in front of my study table would always be colorful with beautiful collages, which I would keep modifying from time to time.

I had made a pen stand with collages. I used to love print ads of these pens called Rotomac Fighter with a byline that said ‘kyunki fighter hamesha jeetata hai’, which used to feature Javed Akhtar. It was actually a series of ads. I found these lines on some website, from one of those ads:

Zidagi Hai To Khwab Hain,
Khwab Hai To Manzilain Hain,
Manzilain Hai To Faasle Hain,
Faasle Hai To Raaste Hain,
Raaste Hai To Mushkilain Hain,
Mushkilain Hain To Hausla Hain,
Hausla Hai To Vishwas Hai,

Kyonki Fighter Hamesha Jeet-ta Hai.


Those days, I had a major crush on Himanshu Malik of Afreen Afreen and Khwahish fame. Those days he used to appear in 'Only Vimal' ads with Milind Soman and no matter where I would be, I would run around the house to catch a glimpse of him. (Of course, I lost all interest in him after watching his pathetic acting in Khwahish and Tum Bin).

My dad had got me an earthen piggy-bank; I had even converted into a colorful collage of pictures. The inside wall of my cupboard, used to be always covered with colorful pictures right from Aishwarya Rai’s Lakme pics to Aamir Khan’s boyish charm, there were Wills ads, there were poetries and ads.

While in college, I converted collage into a form of expressing myself and give a personal touch to convey my feelings for my close ones. I would combine poetry with relevant pictures to create personalised cards for my best friends. They still remember that very fondly.

Quite recently, I gifted a huge collage of our pictures over the years, to my husband on our first marriage anniversary; and he absolutely loved it. It now takes the space just in front of our bed to give a glimpse of happy memories. Both of us (together as well as separately) just love looking at it.

Just 2 days back I made another collage of book cover cut-outs (from different magazines) to put up in our guest bedroom. I have framed it in bright yellow color, to bring color to the room, while the book-covers will add to the already over 100 books in my cupboard. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed on how it would have turned out. I am going to pick it up today.

Collage making needs planning because you don’t just start sticking pictures, you need to have a vision of what you are making. Once you are clear then you start collating relevant pictures, and after that you organise all the pictures, so that you know how it will look like. Click a picture of that or make markings for reference. That’s it, take out the glue and let your creativity flow. It is not that difficult.

One day @ Deccan Gymkhana

I had a lovely day yesterday. I had taken off from office due to some bank-related work (courtesy financial year end) and some work at home. Started off the day pretty much the same time, as on any weekday; except that I did not have to get ready for the office. Till 10 am, did some usual stuff at home, breakfast, etc; then went off to the bank. When I stepped into bank, it dawned on me that I’m not the only one who does everything at the last minute. I was welcomed by a huge crowd on every counter of the bank. I had even forgotten where to get the form for cash deposits (the last time I came to the bank, to deposit money in PPF was last February….again at the last minuteJ). Somehow I got hold of the form, filled it and joined the queue.

 

 

While standing in the queue, I had an interesting observation. SBI has written “Cash receipts” at the counter where we need to ‘deposit’ cash; and “Cash payments” where we need to ‘withdraw’ cash from. That shows how ‘Customer-oriented’ they are! Everything is written from their perspective. Anyways, I waited and waited, shifting from one foot to another and fiddling with my form, cash and purse…..suddenly when 3 people were in front of me in the queue, I realized, the form which I used last year for depositing cash, looked a little different. I checked with the guy behind me….2 guys left in front of me……he said there is a different form for PPF deposits. Great! I ran to the specified counter. Checked with people standing there, they pointed towards a form…just when I snatched it, an aunty was about to lay her hands on that last form kept there. I said a sheepish “Sorry”; and rushed back to the queue. The guy in front of me moved towards the counter, I told myself, stay calm and fill it carefully; so bang on time I completed my form and finally deposited cash.

 

Everything done, I came out of the bank and wondered what to do next! Although I had to get back home for some repair works, but I can’t do that, can I? Coming 11-12 kms and not checking out any bookshop!

 

Well, they have closed down Crossword at J.M. Road, otherwise hands down, I would have gone there. But anyways, I had a nariyal-pani and thought, if I’m here, why don’t I cross the street and go to F.C. Road (dear old Fergusson College Road in Pune). There’s a huge stall of magazines near Sagar Arcade circle. So I walked upto there, and saw every possible magazine staring at me. Somehow I limited myself to 2 magazines – ‘PEOPLE’ and ‘Society Interiors’; since I already get FEMINA and BBC Good Homes at home.

 

Then I thought if I’m already here, why don’t I walk across to the Hong-Kong Lane. I have not been there since ages. There’s a small Second-hand bookshop hidden inside Hong-Kong lane. I wanted to buy so many things in HK Lane but stopped myself. At the book-shop, checked with the guy if he had any book on ‘Mahabharata’, but he had only YUGANTAR, that too in Marathi. He had usual Mills and Boons, Sidney Sheldons and the likes. I took his card and checked if he would take second-hand books. He answered in affirmative and said he needs to check the books first. He said, you seem to be a serious reader (ahem..ahem..), why don’t you go to POPULAR Bookshop, just across the road. Hmmm, well, I thought if I’m already here, why don’t I check it out. So there I went inside POPULAR, and checked if they had any book on Mahabharata. Guess what? I got Kamala Subramaniam’s Mahabharata for 500 bucks. It was completely unplanned, and it just happened. I really liked that bookshop. It was so refreshingly different from Crossword, who are so in-your-face with their marketing. Crossword always has a predictable stock of books; but POPULAR, although not very big, has variety.

 

I came out of POPULAR with a sense of accomplishment, then I thought may be I should go to Venus Traders and get myself a sheet of hand-made paper as well for the collage I’m planning. So, I went carrying my huge purse (actually it is too big to be a purse), 2 magazines, a huge novel and my helmet. It was so hot but I was feeling extremely elated. I have not shopped like this since such a long time. Just walking into any shop without any planning and thought, and buying stuff!

 

 

When I came out of VENUS, I was totally dehydrated. Quickly, I had another nariyal-paani and a glass of orange juice; and came back home.

 

It was an amazing day. I did not mind the heat, not even the heavy stuff I was carrying around. Sometimes I think such moments are really more enjoyable when you do not plan things out but they happen in the most wonderful way because actually, how many times do we really live in the moment -- either we spend time regretting or reminiscing past or planning future! 

A Big Brother and some Childhood memories

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It is wonderful growing up with a big brother; you always have somebody to look up to. I have millions of fun memories of childhood and growing up years with my brother, who is 4.5 years elder to me.

 

I have spent 18 years of my life in a small township in the interiors of Jharkhand. It really is not that primitive, how it is sounding. It had a wonderful mix of people from all communities, coming together to celebrate festivals together. It was a peaceful hamlet – school at a walking distance (to think of it, everything was at a walking distance), those were times when we actually used to play outside (unlike the simulator games on playstation and computers now), only Doordarshan to watch (other channels like Zee, Sony, came much later) and all in all, a happy life.

 

I had wide-eyed ideas about big cities. I was overawed by the life in a metro. Infact, I would even admit that I used to feel inferior to my metro-contemporaries for whatever reasons. But now after having stayed in Chennai, Bangalore, Pune, Mumbai and having seen Delhi, Kolkata and so many of other cities, I think we are more or less same, with similar expectations, hopes, dreams and worries.

 

Childhood is a time of innocence and freedom from all worries. But of course, you don’t realise it then, when home works are like monsters and exams, your nemesis. Still, whenever I and my brother get together, we would recollect our childhood – his bullying me, my getting fooled, cooking many a disasters together, and my brothers’ cooking of several unbelievable stories! Her are some stories of my childhood….the memories of which still linger on….

> My brother was the mischievous one, I was prim and propah! We used to come back from school, mostly together. We had to cross a play-ground to reach home. As soon as he would reach play-ground, he would conveniently hand over his school bag to carry back home. Of course, carrying 2 bags home wasn’t really my idea of fun, but what can you say to a big brother when you are that young. So I would be fuming all along the way, and make very ‘bechari’ face to my mum, so that my brother gets full thrashing.

> There was a sports club at our township, where all the ladies would go and play some indoor games like cards, Chinese checkers, etc. We were some of those privileged kids, whose mum was also a member there. So we would wait for our mum to go, showing that we are totally engrossed in studies; but once she was gone, it was party time. We would fry loads of home-made potato chips and place ourselves royally in front of the TV.  

> I remember, mum would make nice namkeens and other delicacies, and store it in the unlikeliest of places, to evade attack from us. Now, I know why mum used to do that. It is such hard work to make them and when they finish off within few hours, you feel so bad….I can’t tell you! But anyways, I would be in charge of guarding the door, and my brother would hunt down wherever it was kept hidden. Even after that my brother would gorge on it; I would just look on or take just a little bit because I used to be really scared.

>I am sure, many would have done this. I and my brother used to read comics inside our course books. I have even read novels, like that. My brother has also tried putting me into trouble, by shouting that I was sleeping, when I was not.

> Our parents nurtured this dream to see both of us wake up early in the morning and study! Well, they tried this lot many times. We would wake up, and sit for studying; all cosy and comfortable inside razaai. My smart brother would slip slowly deep inside, with just his book propped up prominently on his knees. He would caution me to keep a watch and wake him up if dad or mum comes over to check. So poor I, would try to keep myself awake to keep a vigil!

 

We have thrown slippers at each other (yeah, at my elder brother! But don’t judge me, children are absolved of such misbehaviors), we have got each other in trouble, we have called each other names; but then along the way, we grew very close, and he became a friend, a mentor and a role model for me!

 

Wherever he goes, my brother owns the room. He has that charisma to attract everyone to himself. I would be waiting for his trips, when he was doing his Engineering from Sindri and then worked in different places. He always seem to have so many stories to tell, and all three of us– mum, dad, and I would be all ears! We still are!

P.S. Yes, that's us in the picture

What have I been up to....daily ramblings

I have been out of action for sometime now, but I visit my blog almost everyday. In the last few weeks, I had an interesting time. I acquainted new neighbours and now they are good friends. In matter of 2-3 weeks, we hung out together, watched a movie, dined at each others' places, played games together and just had a good time. 

 

Sometimes we are so consumed by our daily routines that we tend to stop ourselves from treading out of our cocoons. Good that my hubby loves making new friends, and because of him I get to know new people; otherwise I really don't have any friend around, who is just mine! Of course, apart from him :-)

 

Well, anyways, at this moment, when I'm thinking about what all things I did in last few weeks, my hubby is watching Roadies or Splitsville (one of those)! I know because of the beeps......for all the expletives the channel "censors"! My personal opinion is both the programmes are sickening! I really don't know what all this fuss is about!

 

Hmmm...so here's what I have been doing all this while:

 

1. As expected, I bought 3 more books:                               

 

                - After Kurukshetra

                - And now let me sleep

                - Mrityunjaya

All the above are again books on Mahabharata. The first two are translations in English and the third one is a translation in Hindi.  I was really ashamed of myself for thinking so much before buying ‘Mrityunjaya’ because it was in Hindi! Can you believe this? But now that I have bought it, it has opened doors to Hindi literature as well, and I’m definitely ready for more. I have already got a list of books in Hindi on Mahabharata:

 

Duryodhan by Kaka Vidhate (still searching for this. It is in Marathi)

Yugandhar by Shivaji Sawant

Mahabharat ki ek saanjh

Radhey Karna Ki Atmakatha

Rashmirathi By Ramdhari Singh Dinkar

Bhatko Mat Dhananjay

Main Bheeshm Bol Raha Hoon

Yah Mera Antim Yuddh Nahi

Yugnayika

 

And few more in English:

 

Ramesh Menon's Mahabharata (2 Volumes)

Kamala Subramaniam’s Mahabharata

 

 

2. When I’m on the subject, I am reading my fourth book on Mahabharata – Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni. It pales in comparison with Pratibha Ray’s Yajnaseni. The latter had a classic touch to it; it had the aura anticipated from the story of kings and queens. ‘Palace of Illusions’ is very naïve; Draupadi’s infatuation with Karna is almost out of Mills and Boon. I’m reading it, just to finish it but it does nothing to my research on Mahabharata. It treads on a tricky terrain of Draupadi and Karna’s relationship but handles it very amateurishly.

 

3. I updated my Shelf on Shelfari; and created my Wish List. And I’m still adding several on daily basis.

 

4. A glimpse of a huge book shelf on some site has encouraged me to build a library of my own. In any case, I cannot stop myself from buying books. I already have more than hundred. Of course, now I will be more careful while buying books. I will invest on books which are worth reading again and again. One thing is for sure, I’m definitely going to buy, every book I know of on Mahabharata. May be someday I would write something on this complex epic of relationships, ethics and dharma! It would be interesting.

 

5. I have discovered that I absolutely love making collages; and I have been doing it since school. My walls used to be collage, my penstand, my piggy-bank, posters I made, cards I designed, just about everything. I just gifted a huge collage of our pictures, to my husband on our anniversary. So here I have got another idea for another collage. I’m going to make a collage of book covers for my guest room; and get it framed. It will give the room an aura of reading and books! I’m thrilled just by the thought of it!

 

6. I saw 13B, and loved it. It was nothing like your regular horror movies; it was entertaining, even funny in bits and pieces.  I read somewhere that some Hollywood production house has bought the story. India shining, really!

 

7. How can I not write about the euphoria about ‘Slumdog Millionaire’? Frankly, the movie was average, acting of all the lead actors, none which was Frieda Pinto, was below average.  I’m just not able to understand how Frieda Pinto is getting all the attention? She hardly had any role in the movie. Besides, she did not really do anything much in whatever paltry screen time she had. She was ordinary. It just reminds me of beauty pageants in 1990s, when suddenly the world woke up to India and when Priyanka Chopra still won the crown despite naming Mother Teresa posthumously, when she was asked to name a role model from amongst people who were alive!

 

 

8. I love music but surprisingly I never listen to music, not even when I’m driving. I feel driving or traveling is a time when all of us should just think, think about things in life, what we are doing, where we are going, whether this is what we wanted, or may be think about spirituality or god or anything. It is such a nice time to introspect. Most of the time otherwise, we are completely preoccupied with the humdrum of routine activities at work as well as at home; we never take time out for thinking. This is the time to do that. Atleast, I do that!

 

9. I have planned so many things for my home and just taking things slowly. This is really not the time to splurge!

 

10. I’m trying very hard to get up early, atleast by 6 am, but not able to go beyond 7 am as yet. Every night I sleep thinking that I would rise real early, but mornings are different stories altogether.  I really miss looking at sunrise. It is a lovely experience.

 

11. I’m writing my review of C. Rajagopalachari’s Mahabharata. It is difficult to remember points after you have read the book, so keep pen and paper handy while reading, to make points for reference.

 

Well, that’s about it!

Book shopping

I bought three books recently on an unscheduled, spur of the moment, splurging at Crossword in Mumbai. I have never felt as much content as I felt yesterday. The feeling is indescribable. Whenever I skim through books in a bookshop or online, there is always a queasy feeling inside – which is actually the knowledge that I have about 100 books that I have not read so far. But yesterday, I let it go and bought three wonderful books:

 

• The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
• Red Sun: Travels In Naxalite Country. by Sudeep Chakravarti
• Six Suspects by Vikas Swarup

 

I feel blissful!

Slumdog Millionaire

I just finished watching ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, and the one question it has left me with is how and why it made it to the Oscars?

 

I have read Vikas Swarup’s Q&A. I found it interesting and quite easy to read. When I came to know about this movie, I was pleasantly surprised because this book is a movie material. I also read wonderful reviews and several behind-the-scenes articles on casting, on how some of the kids were real slum-dwellers, and so on. I was suitably impressed with the movie even before I had seen it. It is definitely what everyone is talking about, a very commendable job done by their Marketing and PR.

 

I don’t know what did it – over-expectations or prior knowledge of the story – but it did not live up to my expectations. When I had seen ‘Namesake’, I was bowled over by Tabu and Irfan Khan. I believe, that was the movie which deserved an Oscar. But in ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, I do not find any high points. It does not inspire thoughts, for people abroad; it might, but not here. We have seen it several times in reality as well as in movies.      

 

Direction was pretty decent; but acting and music were quite ordinary. Dev Patel is impressive, but Frieda Pinto did not have to do much. I felt the little Latika and the teenage Latika were quite amazing. I also liked the kid Jamal. Irfan Khan was his usual good self and Anil Kapoor also did justice to his role. The teenage Salim was particularly good. But that’s about it.

 

When, particularly, A.R.Rahman wins an Oscar for ‘Slumdog Millionaire’, I would certainly rejoice; not because he has done a good job (he has created zillion times better music for hindi movies) but because he is an Indian who has done us proud.

 

I wonder if I should cheer for the movie, because

(a) It is not a masterpiece in cinema

(b) It is not an Indian film – yes, an Indian story with Indian actors but not made by an Indian

(c) I did not like it that much

I read somewhere that two young kids, who played youngest Latika and youngest Salim, are real-life slum-residents. They have been given flats and have also got admissions in English medium schools. I would certainly like to cheer for them. In that way, the movie did make a difference. Well, the underdog did win at the end! So cheers to that. 

 

 

Draupadi - the story so far

I just finished reading Yajnaseni by Pratibha Ray. Although I would post a review separately on my blog on book reviews, yet this 400-page book took me through such a diaspora of emotions that I could not not write about it here.

 

Yajnaseni, by the way, is one of the names for Draupadi. Draupadi has been an intriguing character in Mahabharat. Fortunately atleast two women have tried to unravel the mystery surrounding her and have rendered interesting scope to her characterization – Irawati Karve in Yuganta and Pratibha Ray in Yajnaseni.

 

I have often lamented the fact that all the ancient scriptures have been written by men, not a single one by women (atleast not to my knowledge). Though we have had strong women in both Ramayan and Mahabharat, who have been respected since ages for their knowledge and wisdom; still that era was a highly patriarchal one. It used to be a matter of pride for kings to marry several women but a woman who has taken even shelter in another man’s vicinity, was considered unchaste and impure! What is chastity and purity anyways! I even wondered several times while reading the book, even what was considered dharma was what was convenient for men. It is still beyond my comprehension, why was it such a big deal that even if Kunti had asked all the five brothers to share Draupadi, by mistake; it was necessary for the poor thing to follow this weird instruction! What dharma!   

 

Whether you call it the cunning of Kunti to have asked her sons to share Draupadi, or the shrewdness of Yudhishthir to twist the truth; the misfortune was entirely Draupadi’s.  In a few places, one would find that Kunti already knew that her sons were going for Draupadi’s swayamvar, so whatever she said was not by mistake; while in some places one finds that Yudhishthir was besotted by Draupadi’s beauty and thus he misrepresented the facts to create confusion. Kunti’s sons were her might and they were undefeated because they were united; Kunti’s fear was that marriage of Arjun to Draupadi can sow the seed of disharmony and enmity between brothers, as she had already seen that all of her sons were deeply attracted to Draupadi. Thus, she knowingly said the things that she did.

 

Another thing which is deeply endearing is the relationship between Krishna and Draupadi - they called each other sakha and sakhi respectively. It is interesting to read about the conversations and relationship between the trio comprising Arjun, Draupadi and Krishna. It is said that Arjun was never jealous of Krishna, rather he used to be envious of Draupadi because she had a special bond with Krishna. The relationship between Draupadi and Krishna has been interpolated differently in several places, some say they considered each other brother-sister that is why Krishna came to save her in the kuru-court, while some say Draupadi was attracted to Krishna as a lover. But largely it is believed that their relationship was platonic and spiritual.

 

It is unfortunate that despite being the queen and wife of five valiant husbands, Draupadi suffered a lot during her lifetime. Nobody came to her succor when she needed them the most. The pain of Draupadi is evident from what she says to Krishna, narrating the incidence where in she was dragged to the court when Yudhishthir lost her in the game if dice. Draupadi tells Krishna: “I have no husbands, no sons, no relations. I have no brothers, no father. And I do not have even you, Krishna”. In fact, Yudhishthir even insinuated her during their last journey to Himalayas that she discriminated against five of them and always loved Arjun more. During their last journey, when Draupadi falls, none of her five husbands stop nor even turn back to check on her.

It is disheartening how today Draupadi is always referred to in the most unrespectful manner as the one with five husbands. Being compared to her is considered an insult. This to someone, who was considered the most perfect woman – in beauty, in intellect, in knowledge and in qualities; and who did not choose to marry five men, rather she was manipulated into it. When she walked out of her father’s home with Arjun, she was resplendent in the glory of having married the perfect man, but her joy was momentary. In a matter of hours, her entire life changed, and thus started an entire life time of abuses, hurt and loneliness! 

Just 'kid'ding!

Yesterday, my hubby was partying, so I grabbed the opportunity to chat with one of my closest friends. Don’t take me wrongly, we do have great time together, but I don’t get time normally for other things like reading or just whiling my time away. So, coming back to my friend, well, she is going through a very difficult time. Her beau’s parents are just not agreeing for their marriage, and in India, single status after a certain age, do raise eyebrows (especially for a girl). And let’s face it; the good ones are already taken by then! I could not tell her anything. I had no answer.

 

Sometimes I think about kids. How their life is totally in your hands; I always fear what if I did not know what to do in a particular situation. For a kid, parents are know-all, be-all. What would a parent do when the entire world is running after better scores and so-called “all-round personalities”! How do you decide what is good for your child? The other day, some of my friends, who have kids, were discussing about schools, etc. One said, “I want to put my daughter into gurukul kind of school. She should be away from such harrowing anxieties of competing and winning everything.” But then I remembered, something which another friend had said on a different occasion – “When you put your child in gurukul kind of school, away from all the competition, how will you prepare her for the eventuality. In this world, can you really stay away from it for long! Sooner or later, she will have to come to mainstream and then how will you prepare her to take this in her stride? By then she would not have known competition, wouldn’t she feel totally out of place and disconnected with all these? Besides, don’t you think she deserves similar opportunities like all her peers, and you would be denying her those if you totally cut her off from the mainstream?”

 

Whoa…….some words of wisdom! Well, I do agree it is a tough world.

 

It is funny how whenever my hubby misspells anything (he is a disaster in spellings but still wins scrabble), I tell him, our kid definitely would not be learning spellings and language from you! And he says, whatever, I just want my kid to be independent, and not look towards us for every decision she needs to take. Isn’t that what each one of us wants, but it must be so difficult to let go (especially for a control freak like me!).

 

Ain't no sunshine

I saw Notting Hill few days back. It is quite a popular movie, people have like it. I found it Okay. But there’s a beautiful song.  This song haunts me quite often and it's beautiful, so here goes the lyrics:  

 

 

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone.
It's not warm when she's away.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and she's always gone too long
anytime she goes away.

Wonder this time where she's gone,
wonder if she's gone to stay
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away.

And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know,
I know, I know, I know

Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone,
but ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
only darkness everyday.
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone,
and this house just ain't no home
anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.
Anytime she goes away.

Catching Up!

After deliberating for a long, long time on where to start from, since so many things have happened in all these months – I will write in about present thoughts.

Someone rightly said (actually in a movie) – Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is Mystery. Today is the only gift. Perhaps that is why it is called “Present”!

The reason for not writing is purely laziness and nothing else. I like to believe, I’m very busy the whole day; but if you can’t find time to do what you love doing the most, nothing really matters.

2009 did not arrive with cheer and happiness. We do hope it brings joy to everyone, there should be new hopes and new dreams; but practically speaking, every other news was grim and disappointing. I’m not even going to dwell on any of those things right now.

I want to talk about the good things in my life:

Ø We celebrated our First Marriage Anniversary a month back – and he really took me by surprise with a trip to Panchgani. It was really cool (and I’m not only talking about the temperature)!
Ø We moved in to our new home - with all the changes we planned doing to it. It turned out to be awesome! Of course, there are several more plans for our home, but that would happen gradually.
Ø We saw hordes of good English movies, courtesy – BigFlix. Of late, our speed has slowed down but soon we will get back to our pace (as soon as we adjust our timing as per the new place).
Ø I made a huge collage of our pictures and moments of last 5 years together. It has come out better than my imagination. Actually, it was my gift to him on our Anniversary. We are planning to put up right in front of our bed. Actually, it is said that one should place pictures of happy moments all around at home. It especially helps when you are fighting. You let go off many things just looking at those. It works really!
Ø I hired a new maid for cooking in the morning. The funniest thing is she can’t really cook much. She can cook typical Maharashtrian food but that’s about it. I considered replacing her with someone else, but the only problem is I like her. She is extremely sincere in whatever she is told to do and is keen to learn what she does not know. I ignore a lot of thing because she takes care of the basic thing I need – cleanliness. That is absolutely sacrosanct.
It is really not about what you know and what you can do but it is about whether you are sincere and if you get along well with other people. The basic thing is people should like you.
Ø When we open the door of the balcony of our bedroom, there is a clear view of fields. In the early mornings (read 7.50 am, which is early in winters), it is full of fog. It instigates a sense of déjà vu when I look at it. It suddenly seem several years ago, standing just like this in front of my house, admiring the beauty of nature. It just keeps coming back.
Ø After getting back from office, we make it a point to have tea together and play something (earlier it used to be Scrabble, but these days it is Ludo). It is really fun (and some times very ugly, when we start fighting on who is a bigger fool and a bigger cheat)!
Ø In the new year, I am thinking about resolutions. Invariably, the resolutions are always the same:
- Read more
- Write more
- Call up friends and family more often
- Lose weight
- Better time management

Frankly speaking, you can never achieve perfection on above. You can never say you have read enough or you are in perfect shape or you manage time perfectly. It is always a moving target.

But as they say if you don’t know where you are going, you will not reach anywhere!

Morning Musings

Have you ever woken up early in the morning; real early – as early as the newspaper vendor or as early as the time when the main vegetable Mandi is abuzz with activities?

I have enjoyed such mornings in my life; during different phases of my life! I was preparing for CAT then. I used to get up at around quarter to 4 o’clock in the morning, tip-toe to the main door and go out, so as not to disturb others at home. Even the paperwallah used to come after that. I was an avid follower of The Hindu and Economic Times then, so I used to wait for the newspaper eagerly. It was exciting to be up so early when the rest of the people were in deep slumber. The sunrise would look so personal, as if it is only between the sun and me.

Since it used to be dark when I used to get up, I would just sit for sometime at my door itself – mugging Oxford dictionary, to prepare for the Verbal Ability Test in CAT. It was my brother’s idea. Everyone used to follow some flash card or the other, and there I was devouring words, section by section. Of course you would not be able to remember everything. But it did introduce me to several words, many of which have stayed with me. It really helped.

But anyways coming back to the original topic of sunrise; I would go to the terrace as soon as I saw even a hint of sunlight. From the top I would see women in almost all the surrounding households, up and about very early and getting into the grind of their daily lives. Watching them clean and spray water outside, and make beautiful alpana, had become as much part of my daily routine, as it were for them.

I also reminisce about the mornings during my MBA days. I would get up around 6 am, and go for morning walks. The early morning walks would generally be filled with a million thoughts. Being alone has never bothered me, actually I quite like it. It gives me an opportunity to ponder about several things, though not intentionally, but it does end up in some quality thought process.

I have always attracted to early mornings. It is truly special. When I was a kid, our home was on an elevated road and right before our house was a stretch of land. Early mornings used to be breath-taking during all seasons. During rains, we would wake up to the lush green fields. The beautiful interplay of sunlight and clouds will present before us a magnificent spectacle.

Our township was in back of beyond place, hidden amid a cluster of villages. There was never any hum-drum of honking cars or busy roads; it was quiet and serene. In fact, at that point of time, it felt too quiet to be almost boring. But today I appreciate the beauty of such life. Not only were the early mornings heavenly; the star-studded nights would be as breath-taking. I used to spend a substantial amount of time just gazing at the stars. I have marveled many a times at those sights, when nature never failed to amaze me each time.

I remember a particular sunrise quite vividly – there were like millions of little clouds spread across the horizon. The sunlight was falling on the clouds in such a way that the entire upper portion was highlighted by a bright blue, while the total lower parts of the clouds were illuminated by a beautiful pink. It was a sight which I never could forget.

I still strive to get up real early, but the late night movies and the hectic days have spoiled me way too much! But I am trying, and I hope I will be there soon; to get seduced by the breath-taking beauty of early mornings with a cuppa of tea. I think that is what you call Heaven!

Where the Mind is with Fear

The more and more I observe myself, I see a lot of Monica (of FRIENDS) in me. No matter how much I plan that I will not do any cleaning work on a holiday, I end up cleaning something or the other for the entire day. I don’t know how I manage to come up something or the other on every single holiday! Even my brother is completely convinced that I am Monica personified.

This Sunday was no different. I planned not to do any cleaning stuff and just read some good books, but can you trust me for that!

I did manage to go out for a while but that too at the wrong time. Yesterday was Ganapati Visarjan and wherever we went we found patches of crowd. Strangely, we did not find any traffic jams though. All the signals were made “free”, which was a really good thing. But I could not help thinking about the bomb blasts which hit Delhi the previous day.

I remember when we were kids, bomb blasts used to be the last thing on our minds. We did not know about any such thing, at least as something which could affect our daily lives. But since last couple of years, especially after moving to Mumbai, three years back, it has come to become something which happens in close quarters. Every festival or celebration is marred by the fear of any untoward incident. There is tremendous anxiety in stepping out of our homes on festivals or holidays. You tend to avoid going out to places which are most crowded, like Malls, Crowded markets or Cinema Halls. What has become of our world? Festivals were supposed to be occasions when you forgot everything and engage in celebrations with pure abandon. Not any more!

I hate to admit but yes, I was afraid to roam around the streets yesterday, when places were supposed to be crowded due to Visarjan. I did go inside a mall but I literally forced my husband out of it in a couple of minutes. I was not at ease.

I do love my life in cities and unlike several people I don’t intend or dream of going back to the small place where I spent my childhood. I like it much better here – with much more convenience and better opportunities. But I cannot help reminiscing about the carefree childhood days. The holidays were all about going out and having fun with friends. We would have been aghast at any suggestion of not going out on such days. But today, we do have to think about a lot of things.

We are living in strange and difficult times. Really!

Movie Review: Monalisa Smile

Yesterday I had the good fortune of Monalisa Smile. Post that I tried reading reviews of the movie on internet but I found everyone embroiled too much into what was factually incorrect about the college, or how the extra students were short listed on the basis of how much tanned they look, how many black students were there, how the story was too naïve or amateurish and blah…blah…blah. To each, their own.

Personally, I was deeply moved by the movie. It moved me much more than even “Rock On” did. When I saw the promos of the movie on Zee Studio, only one Dialogue made me decide I just have to watch this movie – Do you think I'll wake up one morning and regret not being a lawyer? Isn’t it what makes us all do what we want to do? See the similarity with ‘Rock On’. In that movie they say do what you want to do because you will not get a second chance! Ditto here.

To give you a brief outline of the story, there is this teacher who comes to an apparently conservative college to teach ancient art history. On her first day, the girls unnerve her by knowing every thing that she could teach from the syllabus, but that does not bogs her down. She is flattered by the intelligence of her class but slowly she realizes that these very smart women are actually “just biding time until SOMEBODY proposes!” There’s no ambition, no purpose in their own lives. Marriage is the eventual and the future, everyone looks forward to or waits for. What a waste!

She tries to open the minds of the girls to identify, understand and do what they want in life. It is their life as well. They cannot just waste their lives being just somebody’s wife! She encourages them to break out of stereotypes created by the society; they really do not necessarily need to do what others’ expect them to do. They are smart women with their own minds.

Obviously in the conservative college and society where the story is set, she comes across several hurdles, even from the girls themselves, for they had never thought of anything beyond what they were ‘supposed’ to do.

There are several wonderful ‘moments’ in the film. Check out some interesting quotes here.


My personal favourites are as under:

The first one is the conversation between the teacher, Katherine Watson (Julia Roberts), and one of her students, Joan Brandwyn (Julia Stiles). Katherine had encouraged Joan to think of what would she love doing if she was not getting married, she said – she would be going to Yale to study Law. Katherine gets her to fill up the application forms and Joan also gets selected but then chooses to get married and stay back.

Joan Brandwyn: Do you think I'll wake up one morning and regret not being a lawyer?
Katherine Watson: Yes, I'm afraid that you will.
Joan Brandwyn: Not as much as I regret not having a family, not being there to raise them. I know exactly what I'm doing and it doesn't make me any less smart

(I liked it because Joan knew the choices she had in life – to be a lawyer or be somebody’s wife. She knew she would be a good lawyer, but may be she wanted a family much more than she wanted to be celebrated lawyer. The point is her’s was a conscious decision, and that is what matters. A person who decides to take care of the family is also doing as much as somebody doing another job!)

Another one was towards the end when Katherine feels totally let down by her class of women who were smart and intelligent but not thinking beyond the domesticity and marriage.

Katherine Watson: I didn't realize that by demanding excellence I would be challenging... what did it say?
[walks over to student's desk and picks up newspaper]
what did it say? um... the roles you were born to fill!

For me, a movie is not about right camera angles or effortless expressions. Of course, that definitely adds up to a good movie eventually; but what matters most is what thoughts the movie arouses in you, and whether it arouses anything at all. What matters most is what remains, long after the credits have rolled.

This movie stayed with me even though I saw two other movies after that. They did not instigate any feelings in me. This one did create an urgency to find a direction, not wait for things to happen at the usual pace, otherwise I would end of regreeting not doing certain things at the right time!

Rock On: Movie Review

I had the expected chance to catch Rock On yesterday. The film looked good from the promos and I liked both the songs on air – the Title track and Socha Hai Kya. And I am always ready for a good movie. So there I was at Adlabs, and I don’t regret it. It is a good movie.

In retrospect, there are a lot of similarities between Dil Chahta Hai and Rock On. Both deal with a couple of close buddies, who fall apart due to some misunderstandings; then again get back together after a couple of years when they are mature. But Rock On has the background of a Rock Band, and the underlying message to do what you really want to do because….the way it so beautifully comes across in the lines… Zindagi milegi na doobara!

I am quite impressed with Farhan Akhtar. So far we have seen him as a very capable and enterprising Director & Producer; with this movie he wows us as a singer and also as an actor to some extent. I think he has acted quite well, not extremely effortless, say Aamir Khan, but definitely much, much better than so-called actors getting heavily paid for doing what they called Acting! He looks good too – in the long as well as cropped hair.

Arjun Rampal is superb – it is definitely one of his best performances. (I did not like Om Shanti Om, as a movie, but Arjun was definitely good in the movie). He has a terrific voice; and awesome personality and acting skills to match it. He is the silent, emotional kind; and is very convincing in his role. Shahana Goswami, who played Arjun’s wife in the movie, is also extremely effortless. Although she is the bickering and nagging sort, but you tend to feel for her. Life does that to you. I found that she also featured in the movie Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd., but I can’t remember seeing her in that. She comes across as somebody to watch out for. The problem with most of the actresses, I have found, is that they are always too much conscious of how they are looking on screen and thus cannot let themselves flow in the character. Aishwarya Rai cannot help catwalking on screen. She will do anything but cannot make herself look gauche on the screen. Even Rani tends to have that unnatural smile on her face, which looks forced and made up to, look good. Why can’t they be, say Tabu. She does not try too hard to look good in every shot, but she always makes a mark in her scenes because she breathes life in her characters.

Coming back to the movie, I loved Purab the most, in the movie. I know he was not the main lead, but he bowls you over with his easy charm and witty humour. He does it with élan and does not look unnatural even in a single shot. I thought Koel Poorie has also done a good job. Prachi Desai is good but I think she is little bit in awe of her make over into a big screen actress. She has done a decent job, but she needs to improve.

Luke Kenny was good in his role and did complete justice. Since the time I have seen him and heard his name, I feel I have seen him before, but can’t figure out. Apparently he was a veejay. But still I’m not convinced, as I have never been too much into ‘knowing’ or liking Veejays. But anyways, the point is that he has done his job well and matches up to everyone.

Everything said and done, I thought the 2nd half is better but then it got to be, because the passion re-ignites in the second half. I remember the entire hall was on splits when after the movies ends, the first thing which comes before the credits is – Don’t download the music. Buy the CD. Good message. Well-placed. And the movie! It definitely stays with you.

Just when we came out of the hall, my hubby said what have we done? I hate that about such movies; everyone need not be a rock star or a singer or with any such marked talent. A talent is anything in which you are good at. We got on to talking about how we did not have any such passion during college or whether this life is better or the college life was! Well, to each, his own. Personally, I have always liked my current life better than the past. I love being in the place I am in – happily married to the one I love, satisfied in my job and grateful to be able to enjoy the freedom that I have, to choose whatever I want to do. Now if I choose not to do anything worthwhile then it is entirely my own fault, not life’s!

We should just stop blaming everything and everyone. On that note, what I will take from the movie is ………..zindagi milegi na doobara! So do what you want to do – right here, right now!

Being Famous!

While I was doing something really innocuous but important (cleaning my kitchen), somehow I started thinking about “Fame”. Whether I would like to be Famous or why people want to be famous? It is a common desire of people to be Rich and Famous. I would definitely like to be Rich, but I don’t think I would like to be Famous. I just love my space and freedom too much to be famous.

But of course, I like standing out in the crowd. I like when I am acknowledged for doing something more than expected. I like being singled out and appreciated for my work. Is that an iota of being famous? Is being famous same as being recognized? Is it really the craving to be recognized in the crowd which people crave for? Quite possibly! Otherwise, I don’t think anybody likes people falling all over them, or writing each and every single detail about their lives or always having to put up a persona in their public lives. May be it is a simple case of recognition going over-board, to the extent that other people feel that it is their right to judge you for every single thing or encroach in your personal space to their whims and fancies.

Being famous is really not easy!

E-books versus Printed books

When the internet was catching up and everything was being converted into e-format, right from e-books to e-paper, we thought the end of printed material is near. But several years later, we still await our morning paper with the same zest, like we ever used to. I don’t think the e-format can ever replace the print. Nothing can replace the joy of holding a book and being able to read it page by page, by physically turning the page; knowing that you were half way through, and that you can carry it everywhere and read at your own convenience.

This may be anti-Green, since a book is a paper, which requires trees to be cut. But what do we do! It is a habit which is just too impossible to grow out of. I don’t think the joy which I get in looking at my collection of books, neatly stacked on my book-cupboard, can be replaced by any number of PDFs on my hard-disk. For a book lover, the joy of accumulating good books is as much as reading them. In fact, personally speaking, I tend to postpone reading the book because I just don’t want to lose the importance that book has in my life right now. Once I have read it, it will no longer be as much intriguing. I have never re-read any book so far. But I plan to since the time I started reading non-fiction on a variety of topics. Even some Fiction books are timeless.

I am yet to find another book lover who would rather read books on e-format. It is the love of the book for people like me, and not as much as the content inside. I mean, of course, the content makes the book invaluable, how do I explain, it is the physical being of the book which is treasured.

I guess, we need to find out a way through which there could be a re-cyclable material, for which we would not have to cut trees, and would still give the touch and feel of the paper. E-books are just not the solution!

Reality show on Splits

How many of you have seen Splitsville on MTV? Excuse my middle class values and small town upbringing; I really don’t understand the objective of this show. I collect that eventually there will be two couples who would become Veejays but what capabilities are you judging by falling all over each other and knowing what the guy is comfortable wearing! I was aghast when I first saw the show; my hubby was of course elated at the sight of cat fights between all the girls (that every guy just absolutely enjoys watching). Add to that the colorful language and extent of abuse being thrown at each other. And every time I fleetingly come across the show, I ask the same question – what the guys have to do? Just sit there and enjoy girls throwing themselves on both of them? Wow!

I like Vishal, from the looks of him. H e has Dhoni’s smile and looks cute but the other guy, Varun, he looks so pretentious and desperate. He looks like a guy who has never been too close to a girl and suddenly unable to handle the situation, wherein girls are fighting for him. He is not even cute! What girls!
Of course, for the channel it is a smart move to raise TRPs because people love such kind of “reality” shows but I wonder what the girls thought while entering the show! Some girls admitted (I think Yamini) that they were uncomfortable during some situations because whatever you say, girls are always wary about people entering their space. It is not comfortable for most of the girls. I mean, I will not fight for a guy, I have not chosen; forget about letting him get too close for comfort. To each, her own, I guess!