May Photo A Day : Day 16: Mailbox

I am a letter-person. I love getting and writing letters (now sadly emails). 

Throughout my growing up years till the time I was at home, my dad used to be my letterbox. I used to give him all my letters to post / courier as the Post Office was next to his Office. So, the first time I really posted the letter myself in the red letterbox, I was not sure whether I had done it correctly or whether that box was ever opened in the first place :-)

When I went to college, which was the first time I ventured out of home, I would wait for letters from friends. We would write really long letters, sometimes 7-8 pages of long notebook, even fight over who wrote a longer letter and who replied with a short one. Our letters would be conversational. We would write about everything that was going on, send greeting cards on birthdays and friendship days. Even after college, when I was in different cities and e-mails had not become such a regular part of life; I would write and wait for letters. The sight of the post man would be full of anxiety, if he had anything for me!


Now, at home, I check my letterbox below my building when it is time to get my magazines. I am as big a freak of magazines as I am of books. I have a whole bunch of them subscribed. And much to my husband's dismay, I hoard magazines too.

In this picture are the two Mailboxes in my life at the moment. The left-hand one is really a piggy bank of my husband, from his growing up years. I don't know how it got here but it is really cute, so adorns my bookshelf. The other one is of course, the society letterbox and I love it when it is full of the latest issues of my magazines. 

So, how did you find my Mailbox(es)?

Note: I really want to get back to writing letters now. They are irreplaceable and not as cold as e-mails/messages/whatsapps.

May Photo A Day : Day 15: 7o'clock

At 7o'clock in the Mornings, I am usually asleep, barring a few days when I get healthy lifestyle attack. I go to sleep really late - sometimes 1,2, even 3 am. I know it is an extremely unhealthy practice and I am soon going to get back to my original habit of getting up early. But with a toddler for company all the time, this is the only time I get for myself. He wakes up at whatever time I wake up in the morning and all plans go for a toss. 

At 7o'clock in the Evenings, many times my hubby comes back from office. And the first thing we do is have my special chai. He loves it and I anyways love it all the time. 
He says every single time "bohot achchi bani hai". To which I answer every single time "only for you".
Presenting our steaming hot cups of tea at 7 in the evening.

May Photo A Day : Day 14: Need

I need Faith, that eventually everything will fall into place and everything will be alright.

This picture is from Diwali 2011. I think with the lamp in focus and the clay idols of Laxmi and Ganesh in the background, this picture depicted faith on the higher power. 

I am not a religious person but when I am stuck in a really difficult situation, I always believe in a higher power above who will take care of me. 

May Photo A Day : Day 13: Sunrise / Sunset

After looking at absolutely gorgeous pictures on all the blogs, I am not even trying to compete in this.  

So, I picked up a picture which had some added character to it, beyond Sunset.

This picture dates back to 2009. This Sunset has been clicked through the Summer Palace, Udaipur. 

When I was working, I would watch sunset every day from my seat, but I could never click it. However, it is the Sunrise which perks me up the most. Beginning the day by watching a Sunrise has so much positivity to it. But with each day, my waking up time is being pushed further and further because it is only at night time I am able to sit at leisure to do all the pending work. 
Here you can read my memories related to the Sunrise.

May Photo A Day : Day 12: Mother

As a policy, I never share any personal photographs on my blog because it is too public a space for my liking. I cannot tell you how many times, these past days, I have drafted posts with personal photographs and deleted them. 

This one time, I give in. This picture was taken exactly a year back. In the picture is my son, with his Mother :-)

May Photo A Day : Day 11: A Smile

You see that doll? It always brings a smile on my face whenever I see her (apart from the fact that she is also smiling).

Well, the story goes like this. My  brother was visiting my place, when he saw this doll. He laughed so hard, and said who would ever gift anyone this ugly doll? Who would buy this in the first place?

I said sheepishly, "Well, the hubby did, on my birthday, because he found her cute."
On second thoughts, I am thankful my hubby did not say "she reminds me of you".
But now I have quite warmed upto her, and ain't she looking cute here?
:-)

May Photo A Day : Day 10: Star

After raking my brains and hunting around the house for 3 days, hubby dear came to rescue. I loved the concept and the end result.  

Concept and photograph are by my husband. What I would do without him :-)

This is star-shaped ice in a glass by the way (just to clarify).

And this has been achieved by using kiddo's 'shape sorter' toy.

You like?

May Photo A Day : Day 9: Snack

Made by a dear friend, devoured by all of us on New Year's Eve 2012

May Photo A Day : Day 8: Shape

I am a no makeup person and a no perfume person but I had this bottle of Azzaro Now for Women (perfume) gifted by my brother few years back. It has the most interesting shape of anything I have.

May Photo A Day : Day 7: Something Beginning With F

F for Fast Food and F for Fork!

The whole day I kept planning to do something else, but in the last minute brainstorming hubby dear gave me this idea. I liked it a lot because hopefully it hasn't been done yet :-)

I added kiddo's forks as accessories, and luckily it also starts with 'F'.

Note:As suggested, putting up bigger pictures from now on.

May Photo A Day : Day 6: Broken

This is the good-old drum beating toy which we all used to have in our childhood. So, we thought our kiddo must also have one. We bought this from a stall while visiting a beach town. And it immediately clicked with the little one. He loved it.

One fine day, curiosity got the better of him, and he thought pulling the hands and drum out would be a great idea. Since my husband is good at putting things together again and so that we don’t get into the habit of throwing everything that is broken or torn, I saved it.

Now once in a while the little one pulls out this toy and insists we make him do "dug-dug" again. And I keep telling him that he is the one who did “ye haath mujhe de de thakur” to the poor thing.  

May Photo A Day : Day 5: Paper

Every year on our Anniversary I make a Photo Gift for my husband. Although there are several options of photo gifts available now, I like to make it with my hands because it looks and feels more thoughtful and personalized. Moreover, I love doing photo collages in various forms.

On the Second Anniversary, I made this little desktop calendar for him. I got a set of thick paper sheets and stuck yellow and maroon colored paper with golden flower motifs on it. Then I cut the paper into size, arranged in alternate colors. I got a printer friend to do the spiral binding of these little cards. Then, I got the printouts of the dates and our photographs. Every page has a month's dates and our black and white picture from that month, the previous year. 

It turned out extremely beautiful. He kept it on his office desk the whole year :-)

May Photo A Day : Day 4 : In My Cup

I am a hardcore tea drinker. And like all other tea drinkers, I have a fetish for fancy mugs too. 

Presenting, my kind of perfect tea (notice the colour) in an interesting mug (a souvenir from my first job at FCB Ulka, Mumbai). The mug says "Advertising is the most fun you can have with your clothes on".

This post is also nostalgic for me because my first job was in Mumbai, exactly 8 years back. And I am visiting Mumbai right now, from where I am posting.

Note: Somebody please teach me to watermark my pictures in Paint / Picture Manager

May Photo A Day : Day 3 : This is Really Good!

My picture for today is of Home Made Pizza.

I don't fancy cooking but once in a while I let the reluctant cook rein over me. (It also makes sense to give the little one home-made stuff as much as possible.) On one such occasion, we (my husband and I) decided to make Pizza at home.

We bought the Pizza base from a bakery near our place. With the help of Googleji, I made tomato-based spread, and sauteed onion, capsicum, mushroom and corn in olive oil.

All I will say is I am not planning to order Pizza from outside now. 
So, dear readers (viewers), is it "good" enough?

May Photo A Day : Day 2 : Morning Ritual

I am a big one on celebrity gossip. I read it first, the main news later. I know, not a very diplomatic answer. But that's me :-)

Since I am in Mumbai at the moment and since I am a big one on Celebrity gossip. This is part of my Morning Ritual.

May Photo A Day : Day 1 : I Bought This

Inspired by two women - Shilpa and Smita - who I look upto as bloggers, here I am, taking the May Photo A Day: A challenge that will change your life. So, basically, I, who hardly manages 3-4 posts a month, is gearing up for posting everyday this month.

It is my birthday today :-)

What better day to take up such an exciting challenge! After all, it is supposed to change my life!

Here’s my picture from my birthday. 






I am wearing this pink jacket by Quirkbox, bought from InOnIt just 2 days back. I love its quirky design and the fact that it is a beautiful accessory to wear on kurtas and T-shirts. 

Why I decided to Quit?

My job, that is. Although it has been over 2 years, since I quit my job but I never really talked about it.

We were a DINK couple. DINK is Double Income No Kids, to the uninitiated. We would go to work on the week days, catch movies on TV at night (we even watched 25 movies in a month through BigFlix), go mall-hopping or window-shopping on weekends, play games on PlayStation the whole night (my husband) or read the whole day (me) or watch back-to-back FRIENDS (me) or catch back-to-back movies in the theatre (us)…phew! Where was I?

But one fine day I realised (since I am an introspecting kind); I was fast approaching the dreaded figure of 30. I suddenly thought ‘what am I doing!’ After 20 years, will I look back and feel I had a great life or will I feel the pangs of unfulfilled dreams?

I will take a moment to give a background about my work. I have done Diploma in Marketing. I was obsessed with getting into Advertising, and I have written in detail here, here, and here, how I got the job I wanted, during my campus. But my delusions about Advertising ended pretty soon. It may have something to do with my then boyfriend, now husband, not being around in Mumbai, where I worked. I knew no one in Mumbai and it got pretty lonely because I am not an out-and-about girl. I hardly went out during those days. So, after about 15 months, I moved to Pune in a Marketing Communication profile. Though I knew nothing about what to expect, I learnt a lot during my 4.5 years stint. It was refreshing and exciting to be taken seriously and approached for Marketing advice when you have so less experience. I learnt on the job and had a great time, but it was not my calling. Writing is.

So, somewhere around early 2010, we decided that I can put in my papers. We streamlined our financial commitments, as we were going from double income to single income. Friends still tell me how they would not have given up such salary. But you know, money is not the most important thing in my life. In the last 2 years, I have never, not even for a single second, regretted giving up my job. My husband is a person like no other. He has been the most supportive husband ever. There are not enough words to articulate his role in my life. And I must also add that although I married him after knowing him for 4 years, nobody can really predict how a person will eventually be as a husband. Once I was unwell during my stint in Mumbai. I was all alone. He is the one who caught a bus for Mumbai after office at night (when he was a fresher), waited for the locals to start in the morning in Mumbai, reached my hostel at 5 am, picked me up and brought me with him to Pune, and went back to office at 10 am (as a Fresher he could not take leave). He is the one on whose shoulder I cried when I did not do well in a subject. He is the one who waited for 3 hours (till 3 am) outside my creative agency, when I had to put a catalogue to print. He is the one who held my hand when I went into labour. He is the one who complements me every single day for the tea I make for him.

Oh, but I digress, I would write more about him some day. So, I put in my papers before Diwali holiday in 2010 (October). My boss was bewildered, slowly when others came to know, they either thought I was pregnant or I was joining another company. Neither was true. My boss reasoned out with me that taking a break looks attractive before you do it but when you actually end up not doing anything, you end up in frustration. He was kind enough to even consider giving me a break for a couple of months. But I told him the truth. I did not know if I would want to join back after the break. My mind was somewhere else and I did not want to keep the company in limbo. So, he accepted my resignation. He expressed his surprise couple of months back that I am still jobless and still very content in my role.

I had certain things to achieve ‘before I turned 30’. Being a mother was one of them. We discovered that I was pregnant during our Anniversary in early December 2010. I went on to complete my notice period till 31^st December 2010.

The earlier plan was to quit, and discover Pune. Just walk around, go to all the bookstores, quaint little places for food and clothes, and just do what an office-going person seldom does, while away my time. For some time. But I had severe nausea from the beginning of my pregnancy, which continued almost throughout the 9 months. I was thankful that I did not have to rush to office, figure out my diet and take rest. I took care of myself (of course with complete support of my husband, who cooked for me many times) for the entire 9 months. My in-laws came in the 9^th month.

Naturally, my focus had shifted. I hardly read or thought about writing during those months. I just focused on my pregnancy. After delivery, my life had been on a whirlwind (as all new parents would know). In only last couple of months, I have started writing in a disciplined way, and reading with a lot of focus. This year I am going to read the highest number of books I have ever read in any year. Because when my son would start playschool (most probably, in December 2013), I would start actively seeking writing opportunities. Right now, I am taking in whatever is coming on its own. I hardly get much time. I get on an average 3 hours of reading and writing daily. That too because I don’t do anything else. I don’t socialise. I don’t gossip on phone. I don’t watch TV.

In last 2.5 years, my life has changed so much. I never realised it would turn out this way when I decided to quit. But I am in a happy space. I live with the two people I love the most. I have all the time for them. I read a lot and I have started writing professionally. What more can I ask for!

Make Up

The one which is done with cosmetics.

The only makeup I ever use is a Kajal and some moisturiser, irrespective of the event/place I am going to – taking my toddler son for a stroll or a wedding reception or a movie, anything. It is not because I detest make up. In fact, I would love to be able to (as they say) ‘camouflage my flaws and highlight my best features’ but all these years I neither had the talent nor the inclination to learn the art of makeup.

The only time in my life when I have been ‘made up’ had been (no points in guessing) on my wedding. When I look at those pictures, I am barely able to recognise myself.

I am always in awe of women who expertly use make up and transform into a glamour queen. I certainly wish I had that talent.

When I was getting married, I also did the whole hog – buying all sorts of cosmetics like eye liner, mascara, lipsticks, lip pencil, eye shadows (the 2-tier one) from Lakme and Chambor. I never used any of those cosmetics, since the make-up lady used her own on me. After about 2 years of my wedding, I had to travel for my sister-in-law’s wedding. It was then that I realised that I had a so-called make-up kit, tucked away in some corner of my house, which was no longer usable  So, what did I do? I bought a couple of new cosmetics for the wedding. I did use the lipstick once or twice. But guess what prompted this post? I just had to throw those cosmetics, since they are past their usability.

Despite reading over and over again about the importance of using Sun Screen, I don’t even use that and get tanned. Heck, I don’t even apply nail polish on my toes (or fingers). (That is plain laziness, I admit). The only thing I love is Kajal. I can’t do without it. I believe, it transforms my face. I use one from Chambor in black. I have also tried grey colour once, because the sales girl pushed it on me. I also make it a point to take off the kajal with olive oil at night.

Nevertheless, I wish I could use makeup sometimes. It wouldn’t have hurt to look good once in a while.

My husband insists I look good without make up, which tells less about my looks and more about his ability to keep peace at home. Husbands! I tell you!

Lunch Ideas for Toddlers

This post was first published on Humpty Bumpty Kids.

It is legendary that toddlers are fussy eaters. You can break your heads unravelling the mystery of how your perfect child who ate all you offered turned into such a picky eater, or rise up to the challenge. You cannot alter the natural developmental phase of kids, so it is better to accept it and take it in your stride.

A few things to remember: 

• Focus only on the bigger picture. You have to provide your child enough Carbohydrates, Fats, Proteins, Vitamins and Minerals during the course of the day. Achieve that through a smart combination of cereals, pulses, animal protein, milk and milk products, fruits and vegetables. If he does not want to have dal rice, offer rice separately, and he can drink dal like soup. 
• Kids are not compelled or motivated by nutrition of the food served, unlike grown-ups. If it does not appeal to them, they would not even try it. So, the food has to be appealing. 
• Strictly observe a 2-3 hours gap between meals. If your toddler keeps munching one thing or the other, he would obviously not be hungry enough at the time for the meal. 
• Limit your child’s milk intake. Doctors advise that a toddler does not require more than 2 small glasses of milk (i.e. 200 – 250 ml approx.). If he drinks half litre milk, naturally he will not be sufficiently hungry for the food. And remember, at 1-3 years of age, a child needs nutrition through a variety of food, and not just milk.
• Little kids emulate what their parents do. So, you have to lead by example.
• Encourage them to eat on their own. For example, when I try feeding my toddler a roti, he just out rightly refuses to open his mouth; but when I encourage him to eat a piece of the roti on his own, he eats it. 
• Offer lots of vegetables at every opportunity. Add a variety of veggies in Sambhar, Poha, Pulao, Noodles, Pasta, etc. A mix of vegetables not only provides different kinds of essential vitamins and minerals, they also add colour to the food and make it attractive. 

And finally, here are few quick lunch ideas for your picky eaters which have worked for me:

• Risotto : When my son refuses to eat rice, I use this recipe to revamp the rice and present a more sumptuous version of it. 
• Besan (gram flour) pancakes: It tastes yummy with honey. 
• Spinach and corn soup: Quite filling and extremely nutritious. 
• Brown bread and omelette: Add veggies like mushroom, tomato, onion, capsicum to omelette to make it tastier. Add a little milk while beating the egg to make the omelette extra soft. 
• Sweet pancakes: It is always the Plan B for me (at the moment) when my baby refuses to eat what is cooked for lunch. It is ready in a jiffy. Just make a batter of regular aata (wheat flour) with sugar and water. Add some raisins. Heat a little oil in a pan (uniformly spread out so as to coat the entire cooking surface), put a dollop of the batter and spread it out in a circular motion like dosa. Cook it on both sides and serve.

Here are a few more recipes that busy mommies can try.

Toddlers are at an exciting yet impressionable age. It is the right time to introduce all kinds of food to them. They get bored easily so the idea is to engage them by offering different things or at least altering the presentation!

Being An Equal Parent

This Post was first published on Parentous - the Parenting blog.

‘Equal Parent’ – I first noticed this word in the book ‘Raising Boys’ by Steve Biddulph. An ‘Equal Parent’, as the term suggests, is a parent who shares the parenting roles and responsibilities equally, believing them as his own and not as doing favours or helping out his other half.

Read on and may be you would find resonance of your own thoughts.

Case 1

The other day, I told my friend (also a stay-at-home mom to a 19 month old toddler) that I went for a movie and shopping over the weekend, and reached back home only after 7-8 hours.

She was bewildered that my son stayed with his dad for so long without crying for mom.

I told her, ‘And why should he be crying? He was with his dad after all.’

In her household, she is the one who is on 24 hours beck-and-call of the sonny boy. She feeds him all his meals, massages, gives him bath, takes him for stroll and puts him to sleep. All that over and above cooking all meals herself (that includes giving dabba to hubby dear).

Case 2

Another friend is a working mom to a 20 month old little girl. She depends heavily on her in-laws for taking care of her baby when she goes off to work. She confided in me that her husband would play with the little one but only when he felt like it, otherwise he would not help out in any baby-related work. Had it not been for her in-laws, she would not have been able to continue with her job.

What is it with dads really? And of course, I am not talking about ALL dads but SOME dads who choose NOT to be an EQUAL PARENT. And of course, my judgement is not on the basis of these 2 cases but I have come across several of them. I see women getting miserable trying to manage everything on their own, with little help from their husbands.

I would not dwell too much on what used to happen earlier because we are all aware of that. But right now it is the need of the hour to share equal responsibilities of raising children between husband and wife or partners. Both bring different things to the table.

The main issue which I find in several households is that fathers assume that mothers know how to do everything for the baby perfectly, and they would not be able to do those things well themselves. But the truth is except carrying the baby and nursing, there is no other thing in which a mother has an edge over fathers. But the dads first need to believe that they can do it.

Several men from traditional families also believe that what women do at home – like keeping house and raising children – are easy. Of course, not true again! I have been a professional and a stay-at-home mom at different times, and I can say without batting my eyelid that raising a child is much more difficult. All your days are not hectic at work but with a young child you always have to be on your toes, whether you are feeling up to it or not. You get tea breaks and lunch breaks at work. But mothers don’t have that luxury at home until the time the little one naps. How to sneak into bathroom also requires strategic thinking. You have your food at leisure, while the mother bangs her head to many failed projects of making the young one eat a proper meal.

Over and above everything else, being a part of your child’s every day routine is rewarding and a matter of pride. And it is also an opportunity to live the lesson of equality rather than just preach.

Note: This post is dedicated to my husband who has been an equal parent from Day 1. From cooking for a nauseated wife during pregnancy to taking over baby care in the early days immediately after delivery, from teaching me a thing or two on how to put our baby to sleep to doing everything with deft to this day for our ‘star’, he has risen up to every occasion.