Things I Never Say In Front of My Son

Being mindful means being aware about the situation and being aware about your reactions to the situations. The most ideal situation is certainly when you are completely mindful and in control. I don’t think any parent is that perfect, but here are a few things which I am absolutely clear of never saying in front of my son: 

Anything related to appearance: Like most women, I am never happy with my body but I never ever say anything in front of my son. I don’t even ask my husband the quintessential ‘if-I-am-looking-fat’ question in front of my son. I also never comment on other people’s looks or skin colour or appearance in front of him. I never use the term ‘good-looking’ to him either, instead I tell him he is ‘adorable’. I have been guilty of using the term ‘cute’ sometimes, but usually it is meant for his actions rather than his looks.  

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The Magic of Outdoors

Every parent of my generation agrees over the benefits of spending time outdoors for kids, and laments about how kids are spending fewer hours outside. Compare the situation with our own childhood. We would be raring to go outside and play.

There are several benefits of spending time outdoors for the kids as well as for us.

1. Vitamin D

We all know sunlight is the primary source of Vitamin D [more specifically Vitamin D3] and thanks to certain advertisements, we also know how Vitamin D is essential for the absorption of Calcium in the body. Our traditional wisdom has also vouched for keeping babies in sunlight. But in reality, as more and more people are living in apartments, they are hardly spending any time in the sun. Reference this article to read more about Vitamin D.

Personally, whether it is summertime or winters, I try to take the toddler in the sun for half an hour at least every alternate day. It gives me and the toddler our dosage of Vitamin D. 

2. Taking a Break on difficult days

With young kids, there are days when nothing seems to work, no toy seems to be interesting enough, no activity seems to be stimulating enough, and then there are some days when you do not feel like cleaning up the mess. So, what is your best bet? Outdoors! It always works like a magic. It also gives you a change of scene, and there is always

something or the other to look at or play with.

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When The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short

“The days are long, but the years are short.”  ―  Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project: Or Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun

Though I am yet to read this bestseller, but I have often come across this quote. And I am sure you must have too [especially if you are on any kind of social media]. This quote comes back to me every now and then when I realize how fast my son is growing up.

It wasn’t too long ago, he wasn’t even there in our lives, and look now, our whole lives revolve around this person. It is hard to believe sometimes that the star of our lives, little D, is already 2!

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The Pseudo-Expert

Recently, a friend [fed up of all the Facebook Shares that I do of my posts on Parentous, I am sure], raised his concerns about my ‘expert advices’. I will soon complete one year with Parentous, in December; and therefore, I take this opportunity to clarify that I have always been a contributor, never an expert.

If only, I had everything worked out in my mind, parenthood would not have been as challenging and as revealing as it actually is. He said, ‘for all the advices you dole out, who knows how your own son is going to turn out in future’. And he isn’t wrong. Frankly, I welcome [if not encourage] such comments because they help me take a step back from my situation and try to look at it objectively.

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Travelling With A Toddler: A Few Learnings

I know, several parents have already chronicled their travel experiences with kid/s here but I would still go ahead and offer my two pence on travelling with a toddler [mine is 2 years and 3 months old]. I am just back from an 8 day trip to Rajasthan. Barring the flights we took for reaching and leaving from Jaipur, rest all travelling involved road trips of long hours. We travelled to Jaipur-Pushkar-Ajmer-Jodhpur-Jaisalmer by road - one of the road trips lasting for as many as 10 hours! Had it been just the two of us, it would not have been as maddening as it eventually turned out to be. But sigh! You do and you learn. Not that I had not read hundreds of articles about travelling with toddlers but nothing can truly prepare you for the actual experience [much like having a baby].

Here are my learnings from this amazing trip on travelling with a toddler, which included air and road travel:

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8 Reasons To Judge Other Mommies [and Daddies]

For this post and this post only, I forfeit all my claims of being non-judgmental of other people. I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to read a Hindi women’s magazine called Sarita. It had a section called ‘Mujhe Shikayat Hai’ or ‘I have complaints against’. This section used to be full of complaints against all and sundry on all kinds of issues. This post intends to accomplish a similar objective.  

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10 Takeaways from 'Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids'

I just finished reading this wonderful book called ‘Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling and Start Connecting’ by Dr. Laura Markham. That does not mean I yell. OK, sometimes I do. But the reason I like reading these books is that I don’t want my inadequacies to influence my child’s life.

Books cannot teach you how to raise a child, but they can certainly offer rational and inspiring insights to become a better parent, and therefore a better person.

This book essentially believes in the simple philosophy that kids are people too, and they deserve empathy, respect and connection. See, on the face of it, we all agree with this philosophy but when we are really having a tough time, we get caught up in ‘trying to discipline’ or ‘teaching the right thing’ or such trappings of being a parent. 

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An Eye for An Eye?

The other day, we were on our daily evening stroll – my 2-year old son [D] and I. We met another lady from our building with her son, who is 2.5 years old. I was aware about her son’s habit of hitting other kids, but I let the kids play. All my son, who is yet to go to school or properly be in the company of other young kids, wanted to do was run around with the other kid. Let us call him P. His mother is a nice lady, of happy disposition. Now, D would call out to P to run around and hide and generally play. But every time he would be close to P, P would push him. Twice my son fell because of being pushed, but he did not pay much attention to it, got up and continued playing. Thankfully, he wasn’t hurt.

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The Need of the Hour

The issue about which I want to write today has less to do with Parenting and more to do with the Society at large. But you cannot deny that it is closely related.

In the wake of the recent rape cases in Mumbai, Delhi, everywhere; I strongly believe that apart from strict laws, there are 2 things we must focus on.

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Roots & Wings

"There are two things we should give our children: one is roots and the other is wings." Hodding Carter

Sounds so beautiful, doesn’t it? But what exactly does it mean? I found this beautiful interpretation by Dr Laura Markham that says as parents we must provide a strong foundation or anchor to our kids so that they feel emotionally secure, and therefore feel confident enough to spread their wings [be independent].

Now ‘independence’ in kids is often misconstrued.   

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Misconceptions About Stay-At-Home-Moms [UBC Post 16]

I have been a Marketing professional for over 5 years before I had baby. So, I know what it means to be a working individual as well as a Stay-at-Home-Mom (since I am one now). There are several misconceptions or assumptions about Stay-at-Home-Moms, which may be funny or irritating depending on your mood.

Let me clear out a few at least.

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Value of Money [UBC post 12]

This post was first published on Parentous.

Since our 7-year old nephew was visiting, who is extremely fond of video games like many kids his age, we decided to take him to a nearby mall on one of the weekends. It has a gaming zone. He enjoyed quite a lot there.

The next day I overheard this conversation between him and his grandmother, my mother-in-law (MIL).

Nephew: I really had a good time yesterday.

MIL: Really? Do you know how much it cost?

Nephew: How much?

MIL: 500 rupees!

Nephew: That’s it?

MIL: So what do you think, you should have spent 1000 rupees?

This is a very regular conversation. But it got me thinking. Is it that in our enthusiasm to provide everything to our kids, we are forgetting to instill the value of money in them?

Do you remember how buying clothes used to be an annual or bi-annual indulgence ‘in our times’? Consider now. We buy clothes whenever we feel like, even when we have not thought of buying, we sometimes buy if we like something. Same goes for toys and books and everything else. And kiddie stuff is expensive these days. We buy it because we want to give the best to our kids. So, there are cupboards full of clothes, there are toys to fill an entire room and all sorts of books, and what not!

There has to be a middle path in which we do not go overboard while also provide our kids with the best in everything. Well, it is not that I have discovered the perfect way to accomplish that but there are few things which I have or would like to implement in teaching value of money to my son (almost 2 year old now):

• When we go shopping, we must have a list; and we must stick to it. Most of the time when we go to malls, we invariably end up buying something or the other. We have to resist that. Personally, with a toddler, these days we don’t loiter around. We discuss where all will we be going and go to only those stores. But yes, when we go to supermarkets, though we always have the list, I seem to remember a lot of things which are not in the list. I am the guilty one usually. But I am learning. 
• Most importantly, we have to be conscious about what we say about money (which is actually applicable for everything not just money) in front of the kids. Are we saying a 200-300 rupees toy is cheap? Are we buying block sets which cost few thousands, on a whim? Are we exhibiting similar trend in our own things - changing mobile phones frequently, buying expensive gadgets too often, ordering food from

  

  Image courtesy: ussparenting.com

  outside every other day?
• We must also explain when we buy expensive stuff why we are buying it and that we think it is expensive. In fact, we must explain how money ‘works’ to our kids at the earliest.         
• We should encourage the good-old habit of recycling and reusing. My son, in his enthusiasm, had torn apart quite a few of his board books. The first thought that came to my mind was buying him new ones, but I discarded the idea promptly realizing what lesson he would learn from this. So, I asked my husband to repair all of them, and my son continues to ‘read’ from them.  
• Be judicious in shopping for clothes. I have not shopped for his clothes at malls except for his first birthday. That too was on discount. The thing is if you visit a branded store, all clothes look so cute, one ends up buying more than necessary. So, we visit small, nearby stores for his cloth requirements. And I never buy too many because they outgrow very fast.
• I think we should take our kids to parks / museums / zoos more than Malls. First of all, it protects them from getting sucked into the mall culture (eating-shopping-playing) and offers more learning opportunities. 
•  My only problem area is books. I am passionate about books and buy a lot of them. I had decided to join a library and inculcate this habit in my son too.

Well, that’s the plan so far! Any suggestions?

I am discovering, with every passing day, that parenthood is a huge learning experience. Even my parents could not teach me things which I am learning because of my child J

Have We Discussed How To Raise Our Kids?

This post was first published on Parentous.

Disclaimer: My intention is not to annoy/offend any grandparent or parent but voice some common observations among family, friends circle and neighborhood.

It is common these days to find both parents working and kids being entrusted into the care of grandparents. But are we discussing the nitty-gritties of how we want to raise our children amongst us, the ones who are going to provide the primary care to the children? Are we all on the same page?

Few observations:

• One of my friends (more like an acquaintance) is a working mother to a 6 year old. Her child is with his grandparents the whole day when he is not at school. Left to himself, he would eat nothing which has any nutritional value (read wafers, biscuits, magi et al). On a holiday, he would be hooked to the TV either watching cartoons, or watching the unrealistic family dramas with his grandparents. He would sleep at midnight and wake up at whatever time he wants.
• I have seen little kids watching so-called saas bahu serials and crime-based shows with their grandparents for long hours (even actively discussing the plot). To make matters worse, these days the latest trend is of explicit content in TV-serials. As grown-ups we know what is real and what is shown to gain TRPs. But, do these kids have the wisdom or experience to differentiate between what is real and fictitious?
• I am very particular about the nutrition intake of my child, what he eats throughout the day. I have consciously kept him off the chocolates, biscuits, namkeens, other junk food, packaged juice, etc. During the day he eats what we eat for the main meals, while the in-between snacks are usually fruits, dry fruits, dalia, some cheese and on some rare occasions, glucose biscuits (if there is really nothing else). On the other hand, I have seen some grandparents giving the tiny tots biscuits, wafers, chocolates on demand because the kids would easily eat them. Of course, they would! Which kid would not? It is our responsibility to provide them nutrition. And slowly when they are hooked to the junk food, not finding anything else tasty, then the kids are called ‘spoilt’! I don’t think the kids are to be blamed here at all.
• The habit of eating while watching TV is a poor habit. It takes your attention away from the food and you don’t enjoy your food as you should. I have seen this happening in kids. They stop enjoying their food, and would do it only while watching TV so that they are not aware of what is going in their mouth, sometimes even spoon-fed by the grandparents.

In my humble opinion, even if the parents are delegating the responsibility of the child to someone else, there must be a set of rules, thoroughly discussed and properly communicated. Many grandparents are offended if you point out too many things because they feel they have done the job and have more experience. It is important that the parents address the issue tactfully on how they want to raise their child.

I am keen to know your thoughts.

I would like to repeat that in no way I want to point fingers at the grandparents because they are supposed to pamper. It is our responsibility as parents to discuss how we want to raise our kids. However, if we choose to raise our kids in this way then that is another matter altogether. 

Open Letter to the Advertisers

This post was first published on Parentous.

Dear Advertisers,

I am writing this letter in the capacity of a mother of a child at an impressionable age.

I don’t watch TV, and as a consequence neither does my child who is in my care throughout the day. [And thank God for that!] As a toddler, he is learning the ways of the world, a tiny step a day. I put in a lot of effort in trying to instill good values and good habits in him.

The other day, I happened to catch a few advertisements on TV, quite by chance. So, I will take this opportunity to share my concerns about this ad and on retrospect this ad too, but I would suggest you must take it as concerns of a mother about several such ads. These are just two of the many on TV.

The first advertisement shows a child making faces at fruits and vegetables, while the other one shows kids turning up their noses at milk. These may be real-life scenarios in several households, but not all. May be it looked like a wonderful idea to connect with mothers of children who shun nutrition by turning up their noses at fruits, vegetables and milk. But when I watch these ads, it feels extremely unsettling. I want to turn off the TV because I don’t want my child to watch these ads. I am relieved that he is fond of fruits, vegetables and milk but kids emulate other kids. It does not help that children in these ads are making faces at fruits, vegetables and milk.

I will neither throw statistics at you nor quote psychologists. I won’t even link strong public opinions on such ads or tread on how misleading ads can be. I just want to say, it is worrying for me, or any other mother like me, to let our kids watch these kinds of advertisements. It just negates all the hard work we do in making sure they favor natural food like fruits, vegetables or milk over packaged sweetened juice or milk additives laden with sugar or chocolate.

Today, my child is too young but tomorrow he may want to watch some TV. So, for me, the concerns do not end at how TV could be addictive for young kids; but I am in fact more anxious about the kind of advertisements on TV. Moreover, these days a lot of ads of products, which are not even directly related to kids, are targeting children. This is highly alarming. In a few countries around the world, there are strict regulations on targeting young children by marketers and it is highly unlikely we have anything noteworthy in India.

That is all I have to say. For now.

Yours sincerely,

A Concerned Mother of a 2 year old 

Note: Dear parents, is it me or you feel the same way too?

Are Our Children Growing Up Too Fast?

This post was first published on Parentous.

I came across this article on the Hurried Child Syndrome in the Times of India recently. It talks about how children are growing up too fast or being expected to grow up fast. 

“It is a set of stress-linked behaviours, which result when a child is expected by his or her parents to perform well beyond his or her level of mental, social or emotional capabilities.”

On one hand we lament how children are growing up too soon and on the other hand we are burdening our tiny tots with a slew of activities in the name of opportunities. Why, even the age at which kids start school is getting pushed back with every passing year?

This subject also reminds me of this article. I am bugged no end with these so-called talent reality shows for kids. Why do parents send their kids, barely out of their diapers, to go through several humiliating and make-believe situations in the process of competing? Have you seen little children gyrating and gesticulating to inappropriate songs? It makes me cringe even sitting at home. Thank God, I don’t watch TV anymore and do not have to go through such ordeal. I also take offence at people who suggest me, even jokingly, that I should send my child to some talent show.

The other day, I also came across this article on how the ‘Indian Idol Junior’ judges want the kids (between 5 to 15 years of age) to have fun and not take it as a competition. With so much hullaballoo on making it or not making it to the subsequent rounds, even the oft-repeated words that ‘this is just the beginning for you and you will get many chances in life’ sound so lame.

The fact of the matter is that parents over-schedule their children’s lives, and expect advanced levels of maturity, wisdom and behaviour. Parents try to live their own dreams through their children or pass on their fears/insecurities. But, the truth is that when things are done at the right time as per the child’s age, the benefits are manifold. What’s the hurry?

What are your thoughts on the Hurried Child Syndrome? Do you also agree that it is eroding our kids’ childhood? 

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A Child's Self Image

This post was first published on Parentous.

Height: I am of an average height; my mother is a little shorter. All through my growing up years, she was almost obsessed about my height. Her worst fears were that I would not grow up even as tall as her. In retrospect, I am convinced she had to listen to a lot of taunts about her own height and therefore, she did not want her daughter to go through that.

Teeth: Same goes about my teeth. I don’t have a perfect jaw line. I had been taken to an orthodontist but somehow never got around to getting braces because I lived in a small place. The dentist tried to convince my mother that braces would significantly improve my side profile (rolling my eyes).

Complexion: I am wheatish.

No, she was not nursing any dreams of sending me to a beauty pageant. Those were just the concerns of a well-meaning, conventional mother of a girl. I am sure you would have come across many such mothers or parents. It is not unusual in this country.

Throughout my teenage years, I have been made conscious, directly or indirectly, about how I did not match up to the common perceptions of perfect beauty, but moreover, how it was important (in the marriage market).

Today, none of those things matter to me. It never even crosses my mind. So, the issues which took my mind space for a significant amount of time in those years eventually have no bearing on my life. It did only harm to my self-image.

Those thoughts are the basis of this post: self-image or self-worth of our children, and our role as a parent.

Self-image, self-worth or self-esteem is related to “a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth”. Healthy self-image of children can take them through many unfavourable life-situations. The role of parents is extremely critical in children’s life in developing a positive self-image. Often, parents’ insecurities get passed on to their children (as was evident in my own case).

Parents should be aware and careful about what they say to and around children, whether it is about themselves or about the children. If you have a poor self-image or body-issues, it should not come as a surprise that your child may have them too.

Of course, self-image may alter later in life with influence of friends or interactions with other people, but certainly, the foundations are laid in the initial years of a child’s life when he/she spends most of his/her time in the proximity of parents.

Children who are confident about themselves and know that they are loved unconditionally (by their parents), can also stand up against the negative peer pressure because they are not needy of acceptance.

Look at how advertising is unabashedly and aggressively promoting the idea of physical beauty being the parameter for acceptance. Now imagine what it will do to an adolescent who is already in a state of confusion and self-discovery. It needs a tremendous amount of self-belief to not get sucked into this make-believe world.

So, what are your thoughts?

Do you also think we should resist the temptation of gushing over the pretty little faces?

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Being An Equal Parent

This Post was first published on Parentous - the Parenting blog.

‘Equal Parent’ – I first noticed this word in the book ‘Raising Boys’ by Steve Biddulph. An ‘Equal Parent’, as the term suggests, is a parent who shares the parenting roles and responsibilities equally, believing them as his own and not as doing favours or helping out his other half.

Read on and may be you would find resonance of your own thoughts.

Case 1

The other day, I told my friend (also a stay-at-home mom to a 19 month old toddler) that I went for a movie and shopping over the weekend, and reached back home only after 7-8 hours.

She was bewildered that my son stayed with his dad for so long without crying for mom.

I told her, ‘And why should he be crying? He was with his dad after all.’

In her household, she is the one who is on 24 hours beck-and-call of the sonny boy. She feeds him all his meals, massages, gives him bath, takes him for stroll and puts him to sleep. All that over and above cooking all meals herself (that includes giving dabba to hubby dear).

Case 2

Another friend is a working mom to a 20 month old little girl. She depends heavily on her in-laws for taking care of her baby when she goes off to work. She confided in me that her husband would play with the little one but only when he felt like it, otherwise he would not help out in any baby-related work. Had it not been for her in-laws, she would not have been able to continue with her job.

What is it with dads really? And of course, I am not talking about ALL dads but SOME dads who choose NOT to be an EQUAL PARENT. And of course, my judgement is not on the basis of these 2 cases but I have come across several of them. I see women getting miserable trying to manage everything on their own, with little help from their husbands.

I would not dwell too much on what used to happen earlier because we are all aware of that. But right now it is the need of the hour to share equal responsibilities of raising children between husband and wife or partners. Both bring different things to the table.

The main issue which I find in several households is that fathers assume that mothers know how to do everything for the baby perfectly, and they would not be able to do those things well themselves. But the truth is except carrying the baby and nursing, there is no other thing in which a mother has an edge over fathers. But the dads first need to believe that they can do it.

Several men from traditional families also believe that what women do at home – like keeping house and raising children – are easy. Of course, not true again! I have been a professional and a stay-at-home mom at different times, and I can say without batting my eyelid that raising a child is much more difficult. All your days are not hectic at work but with a young child you always have to be on your toes, whether you are feeling up to it or not. You get tea breaks and lunch breaks at work. But mothers don’t have that luxury at home until the time the little one naps. How to sneak into bathroom also requires strategic thinking. You have your food at leisure, while the mother bangs her head to many failed projects of making the young one eat a proper meal.

Over and above everything else, being a part of your child’s every day routine is rewarding and a matter of pride. And it is also an opportunity to live the lesson of equality rather than just preach.

Note: This post is dedicated to my husband who has been an equal parent from Day 1. From cooking for a nauseated wife during pregnancy to taking over baby care in the early days immediately after delivery, from teaching me a thing or two on how to put our baby to sleep to doing everything with deft to this day for our ‘star’, he has risen up to every occasion. 

Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls

This post was first published on Parentous - the Parenting Blog. 

When I discovered I was pregnant, I secretly wished for a boy. But my reasons were different from the conventional reasons of either carrying the family name or having somebody to take care of us in the old age.

 From my own experiences as a girl, from my observations of immediate surroundings as well as from all the news, information and incidents around us, my perceived issues of raising a girl were:

a. She would be expected to fit into the stereotypical roles, if not by us, by the extended family or people she would meet outside family or society at large.

b. Protecting her from the dangers lurking in every corner – child abuse, molestation, eve-teasing, to name a few.

c. Building good self-image and self-esteem. Because of the continuous messages from the media, several girls suffer from poor self-image or have poor body image. They are perpetually concerned about diet and body, sometimes going to extreme. It affects their self-esteem too.

d. Am I ready to give her the kind of freedom she deserves? It is easier said than done that we would give as much freedom to a daughter as we would to a son, because it is not about trust on the child, it is more about her safety.

e. Girls are complicated and mature. They may even start asking the purpose of life at as early an age as 7. This can be a blessing as well as challenging.

Of course, there would be more issues but these were the ones which were on my mind. And if you ask me, in current context the most challenging is building a good self-image and good body image in girls. We are continuously surrounded by one or the other media and each one of them manipulate us in believing that if you are not fair enough or thin enough, you shouldn’t exist. Getting attention from the opposite sex should be the ultimate goal in life for every girl! It is hard enough dealing with this as a girl; I cannot imagine what I had done to deal with this as a mother of a daughter at an impressionable age.

As I had wished, I was blessed with a son and not a daughter. Did you say I was at peace? No! Ironically, my challenges are mostly the same.

1. A man is also expected to fit into stereotypes – so if you are not chivalrous, you are an MCP!
2. I have read enough articles and this very good book called Bitter Chocolate by Pinki Virani which opened my eyes to the fact that Child Sexual Abuse is rampant and not gender specific. Girls as well as boys are susceptible to it. In fact, unlike girls, boys are not even conditioned to judge whether a touch is fatherly or filthy.
3. Perhaps boys have less body image issues, but there are serious safety issues. Boys are restless and energetic. Acceptance in peer group is important and they take a lot of risks in ascertaining their toughness among peer group. Drug and alcohol issues are also more common among boys than girls.

Having said all these, I may point out that I am still a new mother, anticipating challenges to be able to deal with them when the time comes. Perhaps I am evaluating extremes but parents are a worried lot, as you know.

Let me share a secret, I strongly believe that a son is a son till he gets a wife while a daughter is a daughter for life. :-)

Gender Stereotyping the Kids

This Post was first published on Parentous - the Parenting blog.

Instance 1.

I and ‘the star’ were going for our evening stroll. The star, all of 15 months now, is a little shy in front of the strangers. In the lift, we met an uncle from the building.

Uncle: “Why are you hiding behind your mom? What makes you so shy? Are you a girl?”

(I got really pissed off on hearing this)

Me: “What is wrong in being shy? He is just a kid, not comfortable with strangers.”

Uncle (immediately got defensive): “Beta, don’t mind, I was just joking.”

Instance 2.

A group of boys, all aged between 9-11, were playing football in front of my building.

I and ‘the star’, were going back home. I overheard 1 boy telling the other boys, about one of them.

“This guy always says no to everything”

Then he looked at the boy in question and said, “are you a girl?”

Then looking at other boys, said “I think he was supposed to be a girl but by mistake he was born a boy!”

Instance 1 is a small example of how our kids are subjected to gender stereotyping in day-to-day life, while Instance 2 is another small example of its impact on young minds. They form opinions, categorize and judge each other, and grow up to become prejudiced individuals.

No wonder this couple went too far in protecting their child from getting stereotyped and stifling his real personality.

What is Gender Stereotyping?

Gender Stereotyping is basically putting down someone because of their “sex” or not believing they are able to do something because they are either male or female. [Source: Wiki Answers]

What is the impact of Gender Stereotyping on kids?

When you start judging a person’s capabilities on the basis of gender, you are doing him or her grave injustice.

I believe, all the issues related to gender discrimination and gender insensitivity spring from stereotyping. When you start judging a person’s capabilities on the basis of gender, you are doing him or her grave injustice. What is worse is that at some point we start believing that it is okay to do so.

At home, kids observe parents and their roles, their interaction with each other and their expectations from children, which initially shapes their outlook about gender roles. Eventually, this reflects strongly in their self-image and opinions about their capabilities.

Why should our children feel less capable or, conversely, more privileged because of their gender?

As a parent we have a huge responsibility of opening their minds and sensitizing them about gender issues. The reason being even if at home we give them a neutral environment, outside of home they would encounter discrimination at every step.

We have to make sure that we are raising well-rounded, unbiased individuals.

The best gift we can give our children is unprejudiced upbringing and equal opportunities. Little kids are impressionable. They are like sponge, taking in everything that parents teach or tell or do. We have to make sure that we are raising well-rounded, unbiased individuals. And eventually, this shall have far-reaching implications on the society at large.

Here’s an interesting article on Gender Stereotypes.