Sunday, July 07, 2013

Being Compassionate [UBC Post 7]

The other day I read about Compassion Day (July 6) in newspaper. The advertisement focused on making the change at home, in the lives of our house help. It said we should help them in opening bank account, education, etc. I quite liked the approach and the focus on this area. In the paper, celebrities talked about how they were making a difference in their own way. I was impressed by Alyque Padamsee in particular. He has helped in the education of his house help's daughter, who after completing her education was working in an ad agency.

Well, I haven't funded any education or taught any kids, but I do try to help both my house helps in whichever way I can. When one of them came to me for work, she said she was in need of money. So I suggested taking up more cooking work because that would help her earn more money. She confided that she was scared of taking up cooking work because people have different tastes and she does not know how to cook North Indian food. I was thinking of getting some help for cooking my dinner (I already had someone for the breakfast and lunch from the time I was working) since by the time the hubby would get home, and I would cook dinner and feed the kiddo, it would be around 10 pm. Therefore, our own dinner would be delayed. So, I thought by getting her to cook for me, I could teach her and also get help. I hired her to cook for me, which she took up very reluctantly. I taught her everything, so that she could get more cooking work. It has been 8-9 months and she has got more work, and that makes me feel good. I have done the same with my morning cooking help too. She used to do the normal cleaning stuff before she started cooking for me. She has been cooking for me for more than 2 years now and slowly I have taught him every single thing - from Poha to Upma, from Rajma to Chhole, from Sandwiches to Idlis, every single thing. 

I never think for a second if they need advance. I keep discussing about savings with them, advising them to steer clear of local chit-funds which promise a lot of money but are unreliable. 

A few months back, the second one's husband just went somewhere without telling anyone. Obviously, she was upset and disoriented about what to do. She even visited some babas who speculate on where to find him or do some puja-paths which would cost her a bomb. I told her to not go to such people and save money because she has two kids to take care of. Anyways, things are sorted now since her husband came back after few days. 

I haven't gone out of my way to do something for them. May be take care of things they want while gifting during Diwali, and generally be considerate towards them as fellow human beings, but I would like to do more. I always feel inspired by reading about people who are doing so much for the less fortunate. I realize that there is a huge gap in income, and therefore, I don't think much when I pay a few hundreds extra once in a while.  I just think of how much we spend on a single eat-out, and here they toil for one entire month to probably earn that much money.  

14 comments:

  1. so true.. I echo your thoughts Reema ... nice write up.... stirred something in me...

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    1. Thank you so much! I love your effortlessly witty posts by the way. Looking forward to more :)

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  2. Hmmm love the way you handled the situation.

    Sadly whenever I have tried helping my helps they have always betrayed my trust so I think 10 times before doing anything on these lines...

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    1. I know, it happens with me too. The same one, whom I hired for cooking and taught our kind of food. I went to Mumbai for 15-20 days, and when I came back she lied to me that she got a job for taking care of a child in the absence of his parents. It was supposedly a whole-day job, and apparently she was getting 9K. What could I say! But since my in-laws were going to visit, I told her to make time early in the morning before going there, I hiked her pay but overall reduced her work so that she won't have to give too much time. Slowly I realised that she was bluffing. But now we have a better rapport. I thought from her perspective, she wanted more money, which is OK.

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  3. I have not done something major for my maids, but help them whenever they need advance or push them to save more in Post Offices or give them tips on schooling, parenting etc. I remember, a last year, a maid casually told me that she will be investing 1 lakh for some land on the outskirts of the city. I found out the details of the 'project' and told her to simply forget about that. She did it, reluctantly though and today she cant thank me enough... it was a fraud set-up.

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    1. Same here Shilpa. In comparison to what so many people do, even I haven't done much. Atleast we use our knowledge to help them and understand their monetary needs.

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  4. thankfully they dont need something out of the way. they only need people to run through their life. They need that people should become more involved make them feel loved and appreciated... And Reema you are doing a wonderful task through this :)

    Richa

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    1. True Richa. They just want some empathy. I don't do much but just try to be sympathetic to their cause.

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  5. My maids daughter comes to me to learn English and Maths....there are so many ways we can make life better for them....nice post.

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    1. Wow, that's great. You are doing a wonderful job.

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  6. Reema, U have done sooo much in your ways.. U made her independent..Took interest in her life..Steered clear of fake people..that in itself is doing sooo much good..
    Proud of you and thank you for the lesson..
    Lots of love :D

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    1. Thank you so much. The way you say it sounds so wonderful, but it wasn't that great really. I think most people are sympathetic that way.

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  7. Wow, so glad to discover another wonderful blog through UBC.
    My neighbour did something very similar to what you wrote above. She was approached by a lady who had just moved here from her village and was looking for employment. This lady had never seen a gas stove before. My neighbour patiently trained her in all kinds of housework. I was a beneficiary of her foresight and interest because as soon as I moved here, I also hired her as house help. Now, I enjoy tasty and hygienically prepared meals as well as a clean house everyday. My house help and I don't even speak the same language! we communicate through sign language.

    So, kudos to people like you and my neighbour :)

    And yes, while a few hundred extra rupees may not make a big difference to us, it makes a very big difference to someone subsisting on a lower income. So, a little liberality in paying them and treating them with respect and appreciation is often sufficient to secure their goodwill and efficiency.

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    1. Thank you so much Kaneenika. You make it sound so wonderful :-)
      That's what I think. When we go out, we spend few hundreds on just coffee, few thousands on a dinner or lunch; we should not think twice in paying few hundreds extra for all the physical work they do. It is unfortunate that in India the cost of labour is so low.

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